Every group has one: the girl that makes sure everyone is safely transferred from the parties back home, the one who keeps everything from gum to deodorant to band-aids in her purse, the one who will happily come pick you up in the morning so you can have a ride of shame instead of a walk…
You know her, you love her: the “Mom” of your friend group.
Someone always gets assigned to this role at the beginning of the year when the friendships blossom enough to the point where you are comfortable going out with each other. Most girls just get thrown into this position, but my experience is a little uncommon: I would choose to be the mom all over again if I wasn’t already there.
The first time I ever decided to try alcohol with my high school friends (shoutout to my mom for picking my sorry ass up in the morning), I quite literally almost died. Nobody taught me the “proper” way to drink or how much was too much. And no one was trying to help me because they were doing the exact same thing. That night I decided that it had to be different in college, that someone had to play mom to watch out for everybody and make sure that no one made the same mistakes I did. That night I decided that I wanted to be that person for my future friends.
During my first syllabus week freshman year, I was going out with a couple of people I didn’t really know, but they seemed cool and lived on my hall. The night was already exciting enough – we were going to our first frat party! Things were going really great and I was having more fun people-watching with sober eyes than actually drinking with everyone. The whole night shifted, however, when this girl threw up on a guy who kept trying to make out with her. Ok, honestly that was probably one of the greatest moments of my life, but you can see how that potential “relationship” worked out…
I took this girl (let it be known I had met her only four hours prior) into the bathroom and held her hair while she did what she needed to do. I found water for her. I convinced the guys to hand over any snacks they might be hiding. We sat at the house for about two more hours just to make sure she’d be alright walking back. Everyone there thought we had been friends for years, I just thought it was the right thing to do.
Ever since that night, we’ve been best friends (and now froomies), and I’ve been the official “Mom.”
Many drunk nights, hungover mornings, and almost arrests later, I am still the mom. I’ve taken girls to the hospital, I’ve had to answer numerous “SOS” texts, and I’ve held many ponytails while my friend’s head has hung in the toilet at the end of the night. I’ve helped with breakups and rebounds and first times and last times and they still choose me to be the go-to call. Sure, I get to go out and have fun and be all crazy sometimes too (I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom), but I still choose to take care of my babies when I do decide to go out with the same mindset as everyone else. And it doesn’t just stop at my friend group either: I have played mom for random strangers almost every weekend. And I’m happy to because I feel more comfortable knowing that they are being taken care of by anyone, especially if it’s me.
If you are the mom of your friend group, thank you on behalf of someone who knows what you get to handle every weekend with a smile. And to those that need a mom in their friend group, let me know because I am always happy to welcome a new challenge.
