As humans we tend to try and please others without taking note of how we truly feel. I fell into this trap a long time ago, I would stay in situations if it made someone else happy despite how I felt. Recently I ended a relationship and broke someones heart which in turn hurt me, I hate being "that" person.
I woke up one morning and decided to be selfish.
That is one heck of a statement to say however it holds much truth to it. I woke up one morning and realized I wasn't happy. The direction my life was going was not one I was living for myself, it was one I was living for someone else. The plans I had for my life were not my own plans, they were the plans of the person I loved. To save enough money to move into our own place next summer 1,000 miles away from my family and friends, transferring colleges and paying out of state tuition or putting my school on hold. At the time the plans were made it was what I wanted, I figured I had found the love of my life so why not give into what he wanted? As I woke up and made myself breakfast and drove into work I noticed the scenery around me the crisp fall leaves and I realized I did not want to leave.
For me making others happy is what I try to do, but I needed to make myself happy.
It was a decision I had thought of for a while before officially ending it, between the fights and distance it was no longer healthy, and it was no longer what I wanted for my life. I have my education and a great new job in the mitten state, and the mitten state is where I plan on staying for now. In the midst of agreeing to someone else's dreams I was risking to give my own up, when in reality mine are just as important. Life isn't easy and it throws us all sorts of curves. I put the fact of hurting someone aside and did it to make us both happier in the end. The best decisions are sometimes the most difficult.
For anyone struggling with making people happy, make yourself happy first.
I promise when I say your happiness comes before anyone else's. I met a woman who has a beautiful soul and a beautiful son, she informed me she recently filed for divorce from her husband and it was the best thing she could have done. Our lives shouldn't revolve around a significant other. We all have individual dreams and hopes, if the person you are with doesn't value yours or what you truly want out of life let go, fly away. Allie in the Notebook said "I'm a bird." We are all birds, we are meant to grow wings and fly in whatever direction we do, sometimes it is best to fly solo. I am currently flying in my own path and couldn't be happier.
Sometimes people change and that's oaky.
I have known many people who change and have resented the fact they change however I have learned it is a part of life. The person I was once in love with is no longer in existence, maybe somewhere inside him is the person I fell in love with but I will not cling to that hope. Never hold out hope for someone changing back to how they once were, if they are no longer something that brings you happiness be selfish and let go.
At the end of the day you are the only one in your life who matters. Therefore, be selfish and do whatever makes you happy.
With all the love this world has to give,
xoxo
