All my life, I have always been a planner. I am always thinking ahead, making lists for the future, imagining what my life will be in 3 months, 2 years, 10 years. This lifestyle has always seemed to work for me; I was always looked forward to bigger and better things. When crappy things happened to me, I shook it off and moved on, ready to hit the next stepping stone.
As a child, I always couldn't wait to be older. When I was in elementary school, I couldn't wait to be in high school, when I was in high school, I couldn't wait to be in college. Now that I'm in college, and just a short year away from the real world, I find myself daydreaming about this imaginary perfect life I'll have 10 years from now. A perfect job, a perfect husband, and even a perfect baby on the way. I imagine my life without the problems and heartaches that I'm experiencing in my life now; I imagine myself happy.
I have often found myself saying, "when this test is over, I'll be happy", "when it's summer, I'll be happy", "once I meet my prince charming, I'll be happy." But the problem is once I finish that test, I'm just looking to the next thing that will make me happy. I forget to stop and just be happy that I finished that test instead of immediately thinking about the next thing I assume will make me happy.
Lately, I have tried to do my best to live in the moment. I am choosing to be happy. Although planning and thinking ahead helps me to stay focused on my goals and stay organized, I need to stop letting it control my life and my happiness.
The fall season or meeting my future husband isn't what is going to define my happiness; sure, it will make me happy, and contribute to my happiness, but that's not where it should start. I should not be waiting for something great to happen for my happiness to start, instead, I should be focusing on the little things every day that make me happy and put a smile on my face.
I have gone through the worst year of my life, and recently I found even more devastating news about my physical health. While I'm finding it extremely easy to focus on all the negative things in my life, I'm delving into the little things that make me happy. The smell of coffee, road trips with my best friend, smiling to a stranger. I encourage you to find these little things that bring you happiness.
Today, and every day, I choose to be happy.
