The concept of chivalry emerged around the 10th century A.D. in France. The word comes from the French word chevalier for knight, which derives from cheval, which means horse, therefore creating the term "cavalryman." The ethics of chivalry back then represented a fusion of Christian and military concepts of morality: loyalty to the Church and a brutality against all enemies. As time progressed, the code of chivalry for knights disappeared. It wasn't until the late 18th century in the Middle Ages when chivalry made a comeback and was romanticized. It was then that the gentlemanly side of chivalry began to form the concept we know today. It is now known as the “honorable and polite way of behaving especially toward women." Since the rise of feminism and womanism, the questions of chivalry started to arrive. Is chivalry actually offensive? Do women now feel as if they can hold open their own doors and pay for their own restaurant bills? Are the rest of us independent women still living in the Middle Ages, thinking that chivalry should be expected? Is it dependent of us to assume men will just be chivalrous? Is the expectation that men should be chivalrous asking too much of them?
If chivalry isn’t dead yet, the rules have certainly changed. Not so long ago, men had to open doors for women, they had to walk on the left side of the sidewalk near the street while the woman was safely on the other side, men could order food for her, they would be the ones to pay the restaurant bill with no question, and would call back when they said they would. Today it's different; some of the rules I’ve found were: instead of ordering her food for her, men can either pay for the entire bill, go “Dutch” and split the bill, or let her pay all of it. Men don’t have to put their jackets on the ground when there’s a puddle; instead they can be considerate of where they park the car, and don’t forget to be punctual!
What if these rules are too much? Courtesy is polite behavior that shows respect for other people. Could courtesy be just as good? Is that where we’ve come to? Do we not need rules anymore? The rules for how a woman should be a lady have definitely changed, dramatically. Chivalry for women is acting ladylike, but it's different nowadays for the modern woman. A woman can speak her mind, play sports, be fashionable, free-spirited, sexy, and still be a lady. The key is manners, and manners are for everyone.
Still, who determines whether chivalry should exist or not? Someone once told me, “You can be an independent woman and still want a man be a gentleman.” I’ve also heard that “even though women are more independent now, the principles of how a man should treat a woman shouldn’t change.” Are they wrong?
Claire Austen from Men’s Fitness says, “Chivalry all depends on the woman.” Seems like a pretty fair assumption. "Dating is over anyways. It’s all texting, drinking, and hooking up," says John Picciuto from Elite Daily. There’s no more commitment, so what’s the point?
In the end, communication is the key in all this. Maybe chivalry is dead, but being a gentleman is not. Yes, it’s the 21st century, but that doesn’t mean that respect has to go out the window. Maybe we don’t need a knight in shining armor, but a little chivalry isn’t going to hurt. Would it? Can chivalry even exist in an equal world?
