I grew up in a household that was significantly different from most of my peers. I do not say this braggingly or arrogantly, but with significant appreciation. I grew up with a father who, at a very young age, decided to step up and be the spiritual leader of our household and a mother who put aside her “selfish years” to support her husband, and be a godly example to her three children. The word “divorce” was never uttered in our household, if it was, it wasn’t anywhere in earshot of me or my two younger siblings. My parents’ marriage hasn’t been perfect, or anything close to easy, but at the end of the day, they acknowledge they are a team and they come together in support of each other.

Growing up with this idea of marriage made it hard for me to wrap my mind around anything different. I remember being at a family friend’s house for a Fourth of July cookout around the age of 10. The wife, who was hosting the party kept going on and on, trying effortlessly in the most disrespectful manner to embarrass and belittle her husband. It was evident she wanted all of his friends to know who had the upper hand. He nervously laughed off her antics and said, “the wife runs the roost.” This completely baffled me and I decided right then and there what kind of wife I wanted to be someday.

Before I can describe the difficulties of being a Proverbs 31 woman, I feel that it is essential to list her qualities. The 31st book of Proverbs gives an extremely lengthy and detailed description of what a godly wife embodies. So instead of posting the entire chapter, I have provided you with the verses that summarize these qualities.

Proverbs 31:25-30: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Ladies, chew on some of those qualities for a moment and ask yourself if you can replace the word "she" with your name. I know that, for most of them, I sure can't! However, I do know that one day, I plan to be a wife and a mother that embodies these characteristics and can't achieve that if I pick and choose which Bible verses to live by.

I also cannot achieve this if I choose to identify with feminists as they are being portrayed in today's society. Before I lose each and every one of my female readers, I want to clarify that I am not against feminism as it is defined by Merriam-Webster: “the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities--organized activity in support of women's rights and interests.” I am, however, a little confused by what my generation has turned feminism into.

How did we as women, go from organizing such admirable campaigns for concepts such as equal pay among genders, to rioting about not having to cover our female parts and shaving our arm-pits. I am a firm believer that in regards to opinions, "to each his own" holds true. However, these causes have quite frankly made a mockery of feminism.

I've also seen a large number of feminist posts on social media, aimed at tearing down men in the attempt to extol women. The contradiction of this concept absolutely blows my mind. Each woman finds empowerment from different things, that's the beauty of feminism. However, I do not see how any human being can find fulfillment and empowerment through the demoralization of another human being. Even if that human being might be given an unfair advantage in regards to salary and other social issues. I will never ever tear down a man in order to make myself feel greater as a woman. I learned that as a 10-year-old at a Fourth of July cook-out.

Now that I’ve discussed my stance on feminism and how I believe that it's drifted from what it once was, I want to talk about its relation to being a Proverbs 31 woman. My generation is probably the most selfish generation yet and it’s only going to get worse. We are taught our happiness comes before all else. I've seen some extremely wonderful mothers screw up their family life because they put their happiness over the holiness and well-being of their families.

This idea that, as women, we are entitled to happiness at any cost is ruining us as mothers, wives and those of the future at a scarily rapid pace. We as Christian women need to realize that we cannot be both a radical feminist and a Proverbs 31 woman at the same time. It’s contradictory to seek a position which “rules the roost,” while also being a godly wife. We either choose to accept the biblical principles for marriage, or the Proverbs 31 woman will soon be extinct.

I know this article will probably conjure up a lot of flack about feminism and gender roles, so please hear me loud and clear. If you are reading this article and don't identify as a Christian who believes in the biblical teachings and tries to live them out, then this article does not apply to you. I am speaking to the women of faith (including myself) as a call to action to stand up and strive to live out the scriptures that aren’t exactly easy to live by.

For instance, one of the hardest scriptures for women to accept is Ephesians 5: 22-24. “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Whew. That was tough to even type out. My independent and stubborn spirit stews over that word "submit." But the part that sets all of that in motion is actually verse 25 and 26.

“25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” This verse even goes on further to describe just how husbands are to love their wives.

Now let's take a step back. Think about just how vastly Christ loved the church. He loved her so unconditionally that he gave himself up and endured one of the most excruciatingly deaths possible for her. He cleansed her by the washing of 'water' through the word. This means that he uplifted her through not only the way he speaks to her, but also by how he prays for her.

Maybe it's different for you, but if my future husband is willing to love me, such as Christ loved the church--sacrificially and unapologetically, as he does in the above example--I'd be more willing to submit to him, just as I do the Lord. I'd be more willing to trust that God put a spiritually sound man in my life to be the head of the household, such as Christ is the head of the church

If my husband loves me such as Christ loves the church, I'd be more than willing to support him and his decisions as the spiritual leader of our marriage and household; understanding that he has spent time with the Lord in making the decisions that are best for our relationship and family.

At this point in my article, I’m assuming that you’re picturing me as the outdated '50s housewife who sits around the kitchen smoking her cigarettes while tending to her pot roast, waiting on her bread winning husband to come home to her. I’ve watched "Mad Men"; trust me, that is not the kind of wife I plan to be either.

I want to end by saying that I firmly believe that you can be a strong, independent and successful woman, while also being a godly, submissive wife. However, I believe that Jesus would be in agreement that “ruling the roost” should not be our top priority or goal. We, as women of faith, need to re-visit the book of Proverbs and take back our roles.

I am neither a wife, nor am I a mother. However, I study the book of Proverbs so that when my time comes, I'll be able to have biblical guidelines for both of those roles. I plan to someday be a successful public relations practitioner; knowing full well that if need be, I could support myself and make a life for myself all on my own. However, I know that Christ has a godly man out there for me who'll see my worth and strength but loves me enough to not let me go it alone. He will someday give me children to help bring up in a home that serves the Lord. They will see their father as a spiritual leader, and their mother as a Proverbs 31 woman, just as I saw in my own parents.