Growing up, I was always taught to hold the door open for a girl, walk on the street-side of the sidewalk, and refrain from swearing around women, along with other mannerisms which reflect respect towards women. When I got to college, I opened a door for a girl and got almost a grimace in return. I later found out that she viewed herself as a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need no man’s help! The next day, I was walking into a building with a woman and I didn’t open the door for her, but chose to walk in after her. As I waited for her to go in, she gestured towards the door handle obviously expecting me to open the door for her. These experiences have left me wondering whether or not chivalry can coexist alongside an ever-present feminist voice in society.
In order to find the answer to this question, I must pose the question: to what extent are women in the twenty first century oppressed by a phallocentric society? Of course, it must first be assumed that the society is phallocratic. Staggering evidence still offers that odds are against women. Women’s salaries, jobs, and media portrayal suggest women are below men. Women dominate the same fields of work as they did 20 years ago, such as teaching and nursing, just to name a couple. And if you think that women aren’t portrayed as objects of sex appeal, watch a music video or a live performance by the majority of female artists. Sex sells.
Now, some women fight incredibly hard against these all-too true facets of society. Feminists argue that women are just as equal as men in every way. These same women fight for the right to be firefighters and soldiers. The problem with these feminists' ideals stem from their lack of knowledge of the human anatomy and psychology. A woman can’t be a man better than a man can and a man can’t be a woman better than a woman can.
When speaking of the “hard wiring of a woman,” some men may say that the “hard wiring" of a woman is to be a mother or a wife - both of which are subservient to the father and husband role of a man. The fact stands that although women dominate teaching and nursing jobs, women are taking over STEM fields as well. Men and women serve as complements to each other.
With all that said, how are men supposed to be gentlemen with the notion that all men are misogynist jerks? One could argue that chivalry in and of itself stems from prideful men and is a reflection of how well-behaved a man is rather than simply being nice to his female counterpart. I argue that true chivalry should stem from kindness rather than a show of a public agenda. Especially in a relationship, I believe that chivalry greatly shows the appreciation a man has for his significant other. So, for me, myself, and I, I will continue to hold doors, bearing the grimaces, because I’m holding the door out of the kindness of my heart and not because I think women are subservient to men.
The Permanent Door Holder,
JS
