I've read countless open letters to the countless absent dads and I've related and shared, but now it's my turn to say exactly what I want. First off you're not a parent, a father, or even a man. You walked away from your five year old son and three year old daughter. Why? I guess because the next high is so much more important. You looked your son in his eyes with him pleading for you to come home and said no. You're a real winner ya know?

Anyways, this whole experience has come in stages for me. At first I didn't care. Then I started to wonder what it would be like to have a father, to have the option to be "a daddy's girl", to have both parents. Then I started to wonder if maybe you just messed up and got too far gone to turn around. Maybe you needed help to find your way. How naive, right? So at 18 years old, how convenient for you that I'm grown and independent now, I gave you a chance to turn your life around, man up and be a parent. At first it went well. It was a bit awkward because I really didn't know you, but you at least halfway tried. You'd check on me at least once a week. You called and asked if I needed anything. You would take me out to dinner from time to time. All of that ended pretty quickly though. Of course the drugs were still more important than me, your child. That's fine. I gave you the chance, and through that I had many realizations.

First and foremost, I owe the biggest thank you to my mother. She raised my brother and I completely alone. She had the help of God to keep her strong through the trials and tribulations, but other than that she was a single parent. Some people are not cut out to be a single parent, but my mother is the strongest woman I know by far. If I can be half the mother she has been, I will consider myself pretty successful. From cutting grass, to digging trenches by the house, to running from work to practices to games to church, she did it all. I can't even begin to explain how much my mother means to me and how much I look up to her. "Any woman can be a mother, but it takes a bad ass mom to be a dad too."

As for my brother and I, we have done PERFECTLY fine without you. We didn't need you for a single thing. We both know God on a personal level. We both graduated high school with excelling grades. We both went on to college. He is still going strong and working his way towards a teaching degree. I work full time in law enforcement, comically ironic, yes? And I never needed you to have a man in my life because my brother fulfilled that role. Of course we argued like siblings, but at the end of the day he protects me, he listens to me, he'll hold me when I cry, and he'll tell me how stupid I'm being when it comes to boy drama. I love him and the relationship we have.

So in all reality. I never needed you. You have never been anything but dead weight. I don't know you, I've never known you and I'm almost positive I never will. My family may be a bit smaller without you, but it's a lot happier and filled with love. If you ever decide to grow a pair and be a man, well congratulations but save it for someone who cares, because neither my brother nor I need you.

I'm sure I'll cry at your funeral because I'll wonder what could've been if you had been a decent man from the beginning, but I won't be crying over missed memories for I have none.

I'll pray for you; I wish the best for you; I have no hard feelings towards you, BUT I am more than grateful for the small family I have and truth be told we're better off without you.

Sincerely,

The Child You Never Deserved