Bacon double cheeseburger, medium well. That’s my guilty pleasure. If I could, I would eat one every day and not gain a single pound, but we all know that’s not how comfort food works. The best tasting food is often times not so healthy. As soon as I pick up my burger, feeling my fingers pressing into the soft buns, the weight of the 8oz patty starts to present itself. My hands are covered in grease, ketchup, and even though that first bite (and all the ones that will follow) make me feel fulfilled, happy and taken care of, am I really any of those things?
Why is it that it’s easier for us to spot out the fraudulent lies layered within a bacon double cheeseburgers’ inviting nature, but we can’t seem to recognize the bad habits we continuously fall into when it comes to interpersonal relationships? We can spot the hidden calories, the carbohydrates cocooning themselves behind sesame seeds, and the overall heaviness of having something you know isn’t good for you, but that’s all justified through this twisted thought process we’ve tricked ourselves into thinking is normal. We tell ourselves that we’ll make up for it by having a healthy dinner, or that it’s not that bad to have so many burgers in a week because the burger has protein and we need the protein. Excuse after excuse come from this weak, almost self-destructive place of gluttony bent on reaping every second of instant satisfaction.
Cheeseburgers and bad friends/bad relationships seem like a good idea initially. Day to day they don’t do tremendous harm, just a couple burps from the burger and maybe a couple of fibs here and there from the friend. But weeks, and sometimes even years, you regret all the burgers you justified. You regret all the lies you overlooked in hopes that one day the behavior would change. You regret every time you felt your optimism was taken advantage of but you just let it go for the fear of causing a rift where it wasn’t needed. In the end, whether it be poor eating habits or poorly entrusted friendship, you’re left kicking yourself because deep down you realize you didn’t need to be in that situation had you cut these decisions out of your life sooner.
It’s not that simple though.
We as humans crave constants in our lives. Almost every aspect of our lives is out of our control. So naturally we latch on to the things that provide stability, comfortability and consistency. Bad habits will always remain constant. They’re easy to fall into, which is why we fall so easily. When these bad habits take on the form of relationships, and the negative behavior is ignored, condoned, or even excused repeatedly, they’re extremely toxic. You learn to love the abuse. It’s not healthy and it’s extremely difficult to part with the relationship.
Time and time again I’ve entered into friendships and even relationships, knowing that they could, and more than likely would, have negative long term effects on my self-esteem. It’s hard to say no to people you care about, even if you notice them taking advantage of your kindness. We protect people we love; the same way we justify eating foods we love. I myself, am one of the worst offenders.
I choose to see the good in people and try to let it overshadow their negative qualities because I believe in appreciating people for who they are, not who I want them to be. But that in itself is a problem, and it’s also a perfect example of that ‘weak, almost self-destructive place’ I referred to earlier. Even though my heart is in the right place and my intentions are to be accepting and not judgmental, I’m often just ignoring the early warning signs of a much longer more drawn out problem. It’s easier to spot out bad habits when it comes to food because we start seeing the cellulite on our thighs but the stretch marks left on our trust and self-respect are so much harder to pinpoint.
I shouldn’t be overlooking the harmful influences and accepting negative energy that people bring into my life just because I want to respect their right to behave and be who they want/are. I should have enough courage within myself, and what I bring to the table, to turn away the people who can’t respect me or add to my life in a meaningful way.
If cheeseburgers can represent the negative and self-serving people in our lives, then water and our water intake can represent us, as individuals, and the good things we let into our lives. How many times a day do you drink water? The answers will vary based on the lifestyle you live. How much energy do we put into ourselves? How many times a day do we actually take care of our souls, our interests, or even the curiosities about the world that we hold but don’t have enough time to explore?
Imagine what your life would be like if you stopped wasting your time on cheeseburgers, upped your water intake, and really focused on yourself and the things that make your life, a good life.
What’s the solution to these “cheeseburgers” and bad friends? Should we cut out all the burgers forever and live an indulgence free life? No. the solution is to be aware of those people. It’s like eating clean; cheat meals are okay. Being amicable in public places, saying happy birthday on facebook, and even being present around them when mutual friends decide to get together are some literal examples of how to take the “cheat meal” interaction metaphor and make it reality.
Do not feel guilty for cutting bad people out of your life just because you’ve shared good times in the past. Letting go is hard but necessary. And odds are they did something to provoke it. If it’s not positive in the present, pass it up. You do not need cheeseburgers to survive, but you do need water.
