Check In On The Friends You Think Are Fine

Check In On The Friends You Think Are Fine

You'll never know how they really are unless you slow down and talk to them.


I have 372 Facebook friends and my new profile picture just hit 31 likes.

Sometimes I have to mute messenger notifications because I just get so many.

I have a Snapchat streak that's 584 days (and counting) and six others that are on their way.

I can't go to my classes without someone saying "hi" or "you look great today" or "I missed you. How are you?"

But I am so lonely.

I have 372 Facebook friends, but at night when I'm in bed, I shake and gasp for air because I can't stop crying and sobbing over the idea that at the end of the day, I am alone.

My new profile picture just hit 31 likes, but I get off Facebook and look at my face in the mirror and I can't understand why anyone would hit like when I would rather hit myself full speed with an oncoming car.

I get Beaucoup messages with funny pictures or memes, but I wish someone would get the message that I'm never happy, even when I'm laughing, even when I'm asleep. I am never happy.

I have Snapchat streaks that would make other people jealous, but the second I try to dig a little deeper, they log off. Because carrying on a conversation is so much more work than just sending a picture of their ceiling and watching the number climb.

I can't go into a class without someone saying "Hi, how are you," but if the answer is anything other than "I'm doing great. How are you," they get uncomfortable because it is a formality and nothing more. No one wants to hear your struggles. They only want to talk about theirs. They ask how you are not because they truly want to know, but because they want to talk about theirs. No one wants to listen, we all just want to talk.

We forget that just because someone smiles at us when we pass them on the street, that doesn't necessarily mean they're okay.

I could have tears running down my face, but I will smile at you when I see you in passing because that's what humans do.

We want to believe that everything's okay and no one else is going through the pain that we're going through.

We focus on the sobbers, the ones who don't leave their rooms, the ones who wear long sleeves in the summertime; but we forget that there are ones who only cry when they're alone, who are involved in every activity you can think of, who know how to strategically place self-harm marks so you can't see them no matter what they wear.

Take the time out of your day to check on your strong friends because maybe someday, they aren't so strong and could really use someone to lean on.

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.


BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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Different Together

Just because we are different, does not mean that we cannot be one.


Those who know me personally know, I am a strongly opinionated man. I couldn't pinpoint one singular reason to explain why I am the way I am. Maybe it has to do with my my mother, who is the same way, or perhaps it can be explained by having 9 siblings, and me needing to be a very unique individual in order to stand out and be heard. Regardless of how, I am, and thus I shall be until I die. I also so happen to be quite loud and outspoken.

Due to this somewhat unholy combination of traits, I tend to share my opinions with just about anyone who will listen to what I have to say. This of course, leads to most of my friends knowing what I believe in. I have had many a conversation with my friends about our religious, political, and ethical beliefs. One of my favorite things to speak of is how we, as humans, think. However, in doing this, I have learned that just because I enjoy talking about these things openly, does not mean others are the same way.

I have found that many people tend to stray away from the type of conversations that include talking of their personal beliefs- but that is only when the conversation does not support their beliefs. I suppose this makes sense. It is difficult speaking about something you hold a firm belief on with someone who shares a different or opposite opinion, and not feel as if you must defend yourself. We as humans tend to want to be right. Maybe it is pride, maybe it is some inborn part of who we all are that drives this need, but regardless, it is there.

I have had friends before, who, when I or others would try to talk about certain topics (that we all knew many of us wouldn't agree on) would try to have us talk about other things.

"I don't want us to argue! We can just talk about other things" they would say, in an attempt to keep the peace. However, in this attempt to be a peacekeeper, I fear that often there would be limitations to the growth of all of those in the conversation. Without conflict, without a difference of opinion, and a conversation about these differences, there is no solidification nor growth of one's character and beliefs.

Of course it can be hard to speak to people about something such as religion when you both hold opposing views. If the present party is not careful, the conversation can often become sour, leading to contention, hurt feelings, or anger. However, it is my firm belief that when we are humble enough to share our opinions with others, and hear their opinions in turn, these conflicting opinions lead to growth. It is the very differences in our faiths and our ideals that make us the wonderful, beautiful, and unique humans that we are. When two views collide against one another, and come out of the furnace of debate, not argument, alive and still intact, they are refined and strengthened to a degree not seen in them before. If you are not challenged in your thoughts, if your way of life is not questioned, and you are allowed a smooth and trial free experience, then how can you say you know for certain that what you believe in is even true? It is the difficulties of life, the things that bring us doubt and pain, the things that drive us to the brink of insanity, that make us sane. They push us to a point where we are so low, that we hold on by only a thread to the foundations of our ideologies- and from that newly strengthened foundation, we can thrive.

Let us not shun the idea of differences. Let us not hide from the fact that we disagree on things, that we come from different cultures. When we do that, we breed fear, distrust, extreme prejudice, racism, and other horrid things. Be accepting of the one who does not share your way of life, so that they can strengthen yours.

Let us be different, yet let us be united in kindness.

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