Recently I have experienced a lot of change in my life and I realized that no one ever wrote or talked about what it actually feels like to go through these changes. I am eighteen years old and I just moved three hours away from home to attend college, but that is not all because my boyfriend is attending a different school that is four hours away from mine. So there are differences and changes in all aspects of my life including location, family and relationship.
As the days approached before I had to move my boyfriend into his dorm and I had to move into my own I had a wide range of feelings that did not really make sense to me because I had never really felt all of these things at once. I was excited to go and meet new people and also to start learning new things. I was also excited to move out of my hometown because I had been there for over eighteen years, so it was time for a change. I was happy for my boyfriend and all of the new adventures he will get to have and I was happy for myself for that same reason. I knew that I was going to the right place for me and making the decision that was best for my life, but not all of the feelings were good. I was terrified. I was nervous. I was sad. I did not want to have to leave my boyfriend at the other college knowing that I would not see him again in just a couple days. I did not want to move into my new dorm and then have my parents go home without me. I did not want to leave my dog because he could not understand whether I would be coming home sooner or later. I did not want my boyfriend to become interested in someone else and I did not want to miss family things that I would not have missed before, like birthdays and football games.
So the weeks before I left for school were very hard for me. I did not get much sleep, there were more tears than probably the whole last year combined and there was so much excitement for the next chapter in my life. I had so many emotions and I could not tell what was actually normal and what was over-doing it, but the truth is, every single thing that I was feeling was completely normal and it was okay to feel all of those things at once. No one likes to feel semi out-of-control, but that is how this part of life is right now and honestly, that is how all of life is. We constantly try to control the world and the outcomes of situations we may face, but there is no way that we can possibly do that.
After moving my boyfriend in and after moving myself into college I feel better. My parents left and it sucked for a little bit, but then I got incredibly busy and the day flew by. After experiencing this for myself I have one piece of advice that others may take or may not, but that is to welcome everything. The nerves will not go away no matter how excited you get and vice versa. You will still be excited if you are nervous. Being sad makes sense because you are leaving home and your family, but it is just see you later, not goodbye.
This is a crazy time in a young adult's life and it is absolutely incredible if you give it a chance.
