As rivalry weekend grows nearer, so does Thanksgiving. With Thanksgiving comes all your crazy relatives and, for some families, those relatives happen to be college football coaches. And even though all these guys are successful coaches, they all have extremely different roles at Thanksgiving Dinner.
1. Dabo Swinney (Clemson). Teenager who still sits at the kids table.
As the youngest coach in the current top 10, Dabo is that one cousin who wants to make the move up to the coveted adults table but can never actually make it because older relatives still see him as the baby. Poor Dabo.
2. Les Miles (LSU). Grandmother who loves everything.
Les Miles would be your stereotypical grandmother who is just taking the whole holiday in. As a southerner, Miles just has a lot of goodness in his heart and wants to spread it around much like grandma does during Thanksgiving, and every other day.
3. Urban Meyer (Ohio State). Relative who loves to start fights about politics.
Oh, Urban Meyer. This is your uncle/aunt/cousin/maybe even yourself who loves to have their opinion known and isn't very shy about how they feel. While you're just trying to stuff your face with turkey, Urban Meyer is over here telling you that the presidential election made him consider to run for president himself. #Meyer2020?
4. Nick Saban (Alabama). Grandfather.
He is the one who sits at the head of table telling stories and spreading lessons of wisdom for years to come. After all, he does have the most National Championships of all the coaches on this list so he is probably telling everyone else at dinner they could all learn a thing or two from him so they should listen up.
5. Brian Kelly (Notre Dame). Crazy Uncle.
You never really know what is going to happen with crazy Uncle Brian Kelly around. You aren't really sure what he is going to do or what he is going to say but you just really hope you can get through the day with him doing something to put the family's name to shame.
6. Art Briles (Baylor). Great Uncle who says grace.
As coach of one of the most Christian universities in the country, it's no wonder why Art Briles is basically the same person as your Great Uncle who takes pride in being the only person who ever says grace, because that's his job and who would ever want to upset Great Uncle Art? I would imagine the prayer to go a little like this, "Dear God, thank you for Waco, Texas and please help us crush TCU this weekend. Amen. Let's eat."
7. Mark Dantonio (Michigan State). Not actually part of the family but always shows up.
We all have one of these "relatives". They're basically just a really close family friend who has made themselves an honorary member of the family. You're kind of convinced that your mom likes them more than she likes you and you've just accepted the fact that they're always going to be cooler than you. The same thing with Mark Dantonio. He's been around the block a time or two and he is just so darn interesting because of it that you can't hate him.
8. Gary Patterson (TCU). Sibling who takes the last crescent roll.
You're mad cause he's done this the past two years and he always gets away with it. Whether that being him getting the last crescent roll or having a team consistently in the top 10 he's always just winning. What Gary Patterson wants, Gary Patterson gets.
9. Kirk Ferentz (Iowa). Second Cousin's (new?) boyfriend.
Who? Exactly. Ferentz is the new guy who sits awkwardly squeezed in at the corner of the table not really talking to anyone because no one really knows who he is or why he is there in the first place but since it's Thanksgiving they're letting him stay.
10. Jim McElwain (Florida). Uncle who saves the turkey after it gets burnt by an unnamed relative.
McElwain took in a team with a 7-5 record in 2014 and turned them into a team who now is 7-1 half way through the season. If he was able to turn this team around, then a burnt turkey is nothing for Superman McElwain.
Happy Thanksgiving college football fans, and may the odds be ever in your teams' favor.
