If you’re looking for an impossible challenge, try to find someone who hasn’t had an experience with bullying in their lifetime, whether they have been the victim or the cause. I can assure you, you will not succeed.

This article focuses on childhood bullying among peers, not the equally serious abuse that occurs in adulthood through misconduct such as assault, sexual harassment and cat-calling. Nor is this article my cry for pity.

This is simply a list of just a few of my experiences with bullying and the experiences of others to serve as proof to those who don’t believe that bullying really does happen, that it happens to everyone, and that it can affect you well into adulthood. This is a statement that bullying is a plague to society that desperately needs to be cured.

In fourth grade, I watched as multiple young girls were tormented after the puberty lecture because of a refusal to accept that menstruation is normal. Boys would put “blood stains” across girls’ papers in red marker and they’d shout at girls so that they could see them bleeding through their pants just to make them run to the bathroom in fear.

In fifth grade, I started going to slumber parties, only to find out they were not the pillow-fight, nail-painting, photoshoot events I had dreamed of attending. Instead, every sleepover became a gathering of gossip and body shaming.

In sixth grade, I played basketball. It was the only year I ever played a sport (other than the years I spent in dance class). I wasn’t a very athletic kid, and I was way too short to be that good at basketball. A few of the girls took me into the hallway, told me I was too ugly to play on their team, and then locked me outside the gym.

At recess in seventh grade, I was told by a girl that had been tormenting me for years, that “You should just be a lesbian. You’re too ugly for a man to ever love you.” This not only served as an insult to me but also to the LGBTQ community where I’d found a majority of my friends. I spit on her. She went and told a teacher. I lied and said she’d spit on herself and was trying to blame it on me. He believed me and nothing else was done about it.

In eighth grade, a group of boys at the lunch table next to mine dared a boy to pretend to ask me out, the ugly girl, just so they could laugh when I said yes.

In my first year of high school, I was repeatedly pushed to the ground in gym by an older girl. She insisted I’d done something to deserve it. She pinned down a friend of mine an hour later. Neither of us said anything to the teacher.

In my second year of high school, I had a guy drag a paper towel across my face to remove my makeup so that he could mock me for wearing too much.

In my third year of high school, I watched as a group of girls began neighing at a girl who apparently had a “horse face” until she cried.

In my senior year of high school, I watched one of the popular jocks pick on one of the drama kids. He tied the kid’s shoelaces to the desk while he was sleeping so that when he stood up he’d fall over. A lot of people laughed when it happened. No one did anything to stop it.

In community college, a guy in one of my classes told me I looked like I was five. He said it loudly enough that more than a few people in the class joined in to assure me that I looked like a child. He then told me that my boyfriend was obviously a pedophile for even being attracted to me.

In college, I watched some of my “friends” throw stickers on an unsuspecting guy they didn’t know just because he looked like a “nerd.”

One of my college friends told me about the bullying she experienced in high school. Her family’s last name was Bess, landing her with the nickname “Bess the Cow.”

In college, I’ve become close friends with a girl who's a few years older than me. She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met with an even sweeter daughter. This incredible little girl has been bullied for having chocolate milk instead of white milk because chocolate milk is for babies (which I was unreasonably upset due to my obsession with chocolate milk).

Just because it's a silly thing to be bullied for, doesn't mean it doesn't have an effect. After that, she was afraid to wear her Star Wars backpack to school because she knew she would get made fun of. She's been struggling to make friends at her new school.

I’ve seen people be bullied for being too fat, too skinny, too pale, too dark. A girl might be too boyish or too girly. A guy might be too weak or too muscly. People are bullied for their interests, for their beliefs, for their possessions, for their identity. Bullying can happen in person and behind someone’s back. Beating, gossip, teasing, exclusion, all are types of bullying. I’ve seen it happen in school, in the workplace, on the street, between friends, on social media. The list goes on and on.

So how does all of this affect me now? I still struggle with my self-confidence. I obsessively spend money on clothes to improve my appearance, I spend at least a half hour every day coating my face with makeup, and spend at least an hour picking out what to wear. I compare myself to every girl I see, especially those I know well. I notice every detail: eye bags, teeth gaps, hair texture, skin tone, lip color, hand wrinkles, ankle size.

I worship every feature that is different from my own, praying that one day I’ll wake up in someone else’s skin. Anytime I try and discuss these things, the typical response is “You have a boyfriend. Who are you trying to impress?” My reply is always the same. Myself. I do all of this to impress myself, my childhood self, the little girl who never felt like she was enough.

Is all of this necessary? No. I am learning to accept my flaws. I am learning to love my lack of hips, my frizzy hair, my tired eyes, and my baby face. I’m learning not to compare myself to every girl I see because I’ve grown to know that the female body is beautiful, like all other bodies, in all forms, even mine.

All of this has not only shaped how I view myself but how I feel about bullying itself. It’s not just a TV trope. It’s occurring every day and has occurred or will occur to everyone who interacts with society. I will never sit by and watch someone be tormented.

I know that my experiences with bullying have helped me to grow more compassionate towards others. I firmly believe that no one deserves to be disrespected, and everyone deserves to be included. If you are someone who has been bullied and feel as though it's wrong to still feel pain from it, know that you are not alone, but know too that it has made you strong.

Although there seems to be no end in sight to bullying on the large scale, there is still hope on the small scale. Every individual action makes a difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, can make such a great impact on someone’s life.

In short, spread love, show respect, stop hate.