Imagine sitting around a crowded room on New Years Eve surrounded by your closest friends and family. While sitting sandwiched between older brothers it seems that there is no escaping the daunting questions of “Do you have a boyfriend? Have you been dating?”
As a college freshman in today’s generation, “dating” is difficult because it seems like no one is really looking for commitment. In addition, you are weary of getting involved with someone because you are always getting your heart broken. You are worried that there was something wrong with you because you do not have prince charming knocking on your door holding a bouquet of roses. Rather, you feel like you are dating a beast who isn’t yet your prince.
As a little sister with three brothers, I receive all types of advice. My brothers say that they would never approve of me dating anyone, but I know that they want me to be happy because they want nothing but the best for me. They have taught me how to stand on my own in a generation that doesn’t really “date” anymore. Their wise words say…
1. Get Some Experience
Going on dates, first dates in particular, seem to bring out a lot of nervous excitement. Obsessing over what to wear, what to order at dinner, and what to say seems to be the most common occurrences when preparing for a first date. However, going on more first dates with more people makes the “first date jitters” melt away. Go on a few first dates, it’s okay if you don’t go on a second.
2. Don’t Go Into Anything With Too High of Expectations
If you go into a date expecting to meet your husband, you will likely end up disappointed. Go into all dates with one expectation at hand, to have fun. Going on dates with someone new or someone you’ve been out with before should be a time for excitement, laughs, and memory making.
3. Apps Are Not The Answer
Tinder, Bumble and Hinge are all on the scene in today’s generation. The temptation to download these apps and meet up with someone is so strong; it is like craving chocolate and having to walk through the candy aisle without buying any. However, although these apps are set up to look like “serious” ways to find your newest relationship, we have to be reminded that even sugar looks like salt and these meet ups aren’t really dates. Most people are using these apps to find a one nightstand or a casual hookup. The best place to look for someone is out and about in your neighborhood, not a stranger that you swipe for because you think that they’re attractive.
4. Don’t Try to Change Someone
Everyone you meet knows something that you don’t. If you are looking to date someone expecting to change all the qualities about them that you do not like you will likely end up very disappointed, and single. You should date someone because you like him or her enough to look past the qualities that you do not particularly favor. You wouldn’t want someone to change you, right?
5. Don’t Doubt Yourself
If you are someone who’s had his or her heart broken before you probably have the issue of constantly doubting yourself. You worry that you aren’t good enough, that you mess up on dates, that there is something wrong with you. The best advice is don’t doubt yourself. Everything happens for a reason. With every heartbreak comes a lesson. Have confidence that you are an amazing person and that there’s someone out there for you. Remember, princesses have to kiss lots of frogs before finding prince charming.
As my biggest fans my brothers have incredibly high expectations for whomever I will be dating in the future. To find him, I just need to realize prince charming could be right outside my door. All I might need to do to see him is put down my iPhone, keep my eyes open, and get my heart ready.
