They all come in moments sometimes, a few patches of colors here, some words I never said there, but the full picture never comes. Nothing sticks long enough to even attempt to pick apart what was happening in those five seconds of thoughts. Nothing flows in a way to where the five seconds of each moment can at least tell some disfigured story when put together. Nothing works to make sense.
Nothing makes sense.
Each moment tries so desperately to hold its place against the others. Each moment wants its full attention to explain who they were and why they needed to be with me at that very instant. These moments that just never stop coming into the front of my mind are disturbed by the others in the back of my mind. Each is yelling constantly, “Here!” “No, here!” “Listen to me, please!” The sounds never stop.
It’s like war.
These moments in my head are destroying me, beating me down in hopes that I will break into a thousand pieces. They hope that if they break me, each tiny shard of my mind will be able to give them the attention they deserve. They each want a piece of me, to share themselves with. One moment to force me to finally listen to only them. They keep fighting me, but I am fighting back.
Trying to stay whole, I am retying the cracks each moment has cut through brain, but it’s not working.My skull acts as my last defense, and it tries so desperately to hold everything in. There are hundreds of thousands, possibly millions of moments fighting me in my brain, and I was losing this war against the moments fighting my brain.
They broke me.
Each moment erupted from my mind, each breaking free from the prison they called my mind. They leapt into the air taking their one shard of me with them. They held what was left of their prison cell and burst into their story. They excitedly told the shard who they were, why they wanted to talk to, and the story behind their moment. Some wanted to remind me of needing to accomplish various tasks because they wanted to see me succeed. Others wanted to show me a moment designed to make me smile and laugh in the moment I was feeling the opposite. This was their time to have my full attention. This was their moment.
Down below where the rest of my body lie sat one moment. Unlike the others, this moment didn’t jump into the air. This moment didn’t even attempt to search for a remaining shard of my brain, not that it mattered. Each piece had been taken away, and there was no chance that any moment would be shared.
“We weren’t supposed to break you.” This moment whispered solemnly as it began to show its pictures. Like many other moments, the picture was at first full of vivid colors of the blue skies and yellow sunshine, the laughs that belonged to myself and someone I could not see.
Then it changed.
The colors darkened, each melting away into an empty black that gave no way to seeing anything. The laughs once heard were replaced with the ever painful silence. This moment looked at my broken mind, waiting as if I would eventually respond, but I couldn’t.
This moment looked up as the other moments looked at their shards of myself with utter pain as they realized their mistakes. One by one, each moment darkened, melted away as this moment had. Together they all fell to the ground scattered around me. The moments were gone forever.
“We shouldn’t have broken you.”
