We’ve all been there, felt the weight of a lifetime condensed into one, definite moment. Or, maybe you haven’t (and I seriously envy you if you haven’t.) Having a broken heart sucks, I mean, look at Padme, she died from one. But I’m here to tell you something you probably won’t believe until you experience it for yourself.

It gets better.

I’m a firm believer in the cliché “everything happens for a reason” so much so that I’ve made it my mantra. Here’s a personal anecdote: every time I find myself faced with a difficult, or even heartbreaking situation, I find myself repeating over and over “I can’t.”

BUT time passes and I realize, I CAN.

Without a shadow of a doubt, I have overcome every one of those situations when hopeless reality slapped me in the face and can now sheepishly look back and understand that it was meant to contribute to my life in a way that would allow me to grow as a human being.

As ironic as it sounds, I’m grateful for every single one of those moments because I wouldn’t be the person that I am today without them.

Here’s something else regarding broken hearts that may be surprising, boys aren’t the only ones who can break your heart, sis. It can be your best friend, your brother, your mother, your childhood dog, you name it. When emotions, specifically referring to love here, get involved, there’s always the risk of ending up broken-hearted.

It’s easy to shy away from relationships and situations that may seem risky but that shouldn’t deter you from living your best life. I was listening to the radio just the other day and heard a song by Old Dominion and the lyrics were quite fitting to the message I’m trying to send here, “you gotta love like there’s no such thing as a broken heart.”

If you live your life in fear that everyone will break your heart you’ll miss out on one of the greatest things in life – love.

Take that leap of faith.

I’m not a self-proclaimed expert on the subject, but I do like to think that I’ve had enough experiences to say that I know both sides of the story. It’s so easy, especially in today’s society, to deny grief and pretend as though nothing is wrong. This is no bueno.

If you deny how you’re feeling you are allowing yourself to accumulate all of the emotions firing inside you. All you’re doing is refusing yourself the acceptance of reality and perpetuating your upset-ness. As hard as it is, immersing yourself in emotion is the best way I have found to be able to cope with whatever situation you’re faced with. What’s better, being upset for a few days or never really recovering from emotional trauma? That’s what I thought.

It’s time to face the facts. Wait, what are the facts? When someone stops loving you, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world and it definitely doesn’t diminish who you are as a person. I’m sure that person has their own reasons for moving on. Regardless, you should do the same.

Yeah, it’s great to have someone by your side, but first and foremost, you should be comfortable and confident on your own. Everyone is amazing and unique in their own way. You define yourself, not anyone else and especially not someone who thinks it’s okay to break your heart. It’s not you, it’s them because YOU are awesome.

Ultimately, what I’m trying to say here is that broken hearts are a part of life. I know they hurt, trust me. Been there, done that. But the fear of being upset for one, tiny fragment of your life shouldn’t lead you to refrain from being you or living life in general.

Every single moment of your life is designed to teach you something and prepare you for the next part, whatever that may be. Trust the process.