Growing up, I felt very different from everyone else. I never felt confident in my own body. It wasn’t because I thought I was overweight or because of my acne like everyone else my age. It was because of my chest size.

I was jealous of my other friends who looked proportional and happy. Every time I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t help but feel unhappy. Not only was I hurting emotionally, but also physically. I was diagnosed scoliosis in eighth grade due to the amount of pressure put on my back by the heavy weight of my chest. I remember being so confused. I thought to myself, “I shouldn’t be having these problems. None of my friends are going through this.” This confusion led to frustration, and eventually it turned into hatred of my own body.

By my sophomore year of high school, I couldn’t take it anymore. The pain was unbearable. I was forced to quit soccer - the sport I had been playing since I was four years old. At night I would stay up late, looking for any possible way to fix my problem. The best solution I read about was a breast reduction surgery. The thought of getting surgery scared me, but the thought of living the rest of my life being insecure and in physical pain scared me even more.

I finally talked to my mom about the surgery, and we both agreed it would be the best thing for me both physically and emotionally. The process took a while. We started looking at surgeons in my area and talking to my insurance company to see if this was even a possibility. I was only 17 at the time and my primary doctor told us that finding surgeons willing to perform this surgery on a minor would be difficult. But my mom and I were determined to get this done as soon as possible.

Around three months into this process, my insurance company was finally able to approve my surgery. Due to my history of scoliosis, back spasms, physical therapy, and the toll it was taking on my emotional health I was approved for surgery in August 2015.

I went in for my consultation feeling excited for the results and ready for the surgery it would take to get me there. My appointment was scheduled for October – only two months away. Those two months were filled with feelings of eagerness to finally feel confident in myself. Time flew by and I found myself the night before my surgery unable to sleep… I felt like a little kid on Christmas again.

The moment my parents and I got to the hospital, feelings of fear set in. I would be under anesthetics for the four-hour operation. I had never experienced anything like that and did not know what to expect. The past two months were spent daydreaming of what my life would be like post surgery but I was realizing I hadn’t put much thought into what the actual surgery and recovery would be like.

Luckily, the doctors and nurses were beyond wonderful. They were very open and transparent with what I should expect and that calmed me down greatly. This was crucial. Without the staff and the support I felt from my family, I don’t know if I could have gotten through it. I was ready to do this.

I awoke from the surgery in the recovery room a little groggy. Once I was fully awake I realized I wasn’t actually in any pain. I did experience some nausea from the anesthesia but my doctor assured me this was a normal reaction. I spent the next three weeks at home recovering, which could not have gone better. The only sense of discomfort I felt was sleeping in a recliner chair for a month (which was challenging for a stomach sleeper like me).

After those 3 weeks, I was finally able to return to school. I decided to wear a flattering shirt that I would have never even dreamed of wearing just 4 months earlier. Something as small as that had a profound impact on me and my self-esteem. I realized how much I had sacrificed for my chest. I avoided wearing certain types of clothing and doing certain types of activities because I was so scared of the judgment I would receive from others. I was done living a life where I felt the need to hide my chest. I didn’t have to do that anymore. In a way – I was free. This is a feeling I wish everyone could experience.

I got surgery for myself. Not for anyone else. I no longer had to endure sleepless nights from back pain. I could exercise again without having to wear three sports bras. I could look in the mirror and feel confident... feel, happy. I still have scars today, but I am proud of them. I cherish them because it represents my self-love. I valued my body and my happiness enough to give myself what I truly needed – a life without physical or emotional pain.

It has been one year since my surgery and what a liberating year it’s been. I have noticed that people are looking beyond my chest size and are more interested in learning about who I am as a person. I’m not looked at as something I’m not; people aren’t making assumptions about me. I finally feel comfortable in a professional setting and don’t have to worry about looking inappropriate because of something that was out of my control. I am buying the types of clothes I’ve always wanted to, I’m feeling confident in swimsuits, and I can play a game of soccer without feeling an excruciating amount of pain.

I was, am, and always will be more than my chest size. This is not just true for me, but for all women. People judge and make assumptions about anything that is out of the ordinary. At times before my surgery, I felt like more of an object rather than a person because of the way some people treated me. I am a very strong advocate for this surgery and for anyone who is thinking about getting it done, I highly recommend it. It changed my life for the better.