When we go through a break up we are often times left heartbroken and full of questions. Wether we chose the fate of the relationship or not we are left asking ourselves what happened, what we could've done to stop it and what could've been. It takes a lot to snap yourself out of a pattern of self blame and hopelessness but there are some things you need to hear and hopefully they help.
1. You loved them and love them and feel like you always will.
That's just how things feel though. While they'll always have a piece of your heart they won't always remain your one true love. There's a difference between caring about someone's well being and loving them.
2. You don't need them.
Many think love is contingent on need and I need you to know its not. While you have loved them and wanted them you never needed them. Do not equate love with need. You are strong and you are independent and you don't need anyone by your side to affirm that.
3. Stop trying to replace or forget them.
A "rebound" is the worst decision you could make as it will only leave you hurting more in the end. You will never be able to replace them or forget them. Use your time with them as a lesson to improve your future relationships.
4. Put good energy out to the universe and you will receive it back.
Love them enough even in their absence to want their happiness. Trust me, keeping that perspective is the healthiest way to keep positivity because hating them and wanting them to suffer will only feel right for so long.
5. Don't hold on too tight.
When I was in middle school my English teacher made the only analogy for love I've ever needed to hear:
Love is like holding sand in your hand at the beach. when you squeeze your hand in a fist the sand escapes through your fingers and falls to the ground rejoining all of the other sand. You can try to but its very hard to get the same sand back, even if you do manage to find the same sand its already been changed by the fall. But if you hold your hand open enough that sand could easily fall out it will remain in your palm.
6. End on a good note.
Even if it means being the bigger person and apologizing, having a calm good bye is the best closure you can get.
