Dear old best friend,

I miss you: the one who would stay up with me for hours laughing at something that no one else understood and the one who was always there for me. I miss our long conversations about life, boys and our futures. But, I don't miss all the pain you put me through. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing fine without you but at other times, all of the memories of you come back at the same time, the good and the bad.

At first, when our friendship started to go downhill, I would've done anything for things to be the same between us because I thought you were like me and wanted to fix our damaged friendship. But instead of trying to mend the broken like you promised, you were mean and condescending. I was scared because I knew you didn't want to be true friends with me, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away, so I kept giving you chances.

To be honest, you really hurt me and I didn't deserve to be treated the way you treated me. I never stopped being the kind, caring person you've always known, while you grew more distant and cold as the days went on. I was devastated over the way you were treating me for months and I couldn't think about anything else. I was completely heartbroken.

I guess I should've walked away a few months ago when you didn't care when I broke down crying because something terrible happened to someone close to me and that I was going through an awful time. I should have realized that you weren't good for me when all you did was put me down.

I finally realized that you didn't care about me when I was having an anxiety attack over something traumatic that happened to me in the past a few weeks ago. I messaged you and you didn’t even reply. I thought you were one of the few who would understand so I reached out to you, but instead of comforting me, you showed me how little you cared about my situation and me.

It hurts that you treated me like I didn't matter and treated my problems as being insignificant. It hurts that you decided to leave me alone when I was going through one of the hardest times of my life this year. You could see that I was falling apart but you decided to leave anyway.

For the past few months, you kept coming back and promising that you would try harder and make things better again but you still continued to hurt me and you didn't even want to see me. I tried so hard to fix everything but you hardly put any effort in.

Anyway, here's some good news for you since you don't want me in your life anymore.You don't need to waste your energy on me because now I understand that even best friends don't last forever and that's okay. I’m not going to continue to beg for your attention because now I know that you don't really care about me.

I can't keep holding onto a friendship that isn't going anywhere because it's tearing me apart. I now know you don’t care and I can't do anything about it. Our friendship can't be the same again and as much as it hurts, I've finally accepted that fact. They say that breaking up with your friends hurts a million times more than breaking up with your boyfriend. That statement is 100 percent true. You know everything about me: my fears, my insecurities and my past. We've both been through so much together but, you've hurt me more than anyone ever has before and I finally found the courage to walk away from you, because holding on to this friendship is breaking my heart more and more everyday.

As always, I wish you happiness and I hope you find someone that will love you. I hope you're successful and that you get everything you wish for. You deserve the best. I will always be here for you if you need anything. All you have to do is ask.

With lots of love,

The one you left behind