Dear Spring,
I get that everyone looks forward to you and all the flowers blooming, but we need to have a talk. When it hits that time of year where you come around I literally feel like I. Am. Dying. One whiff of that fresh, pollen-filled air and my worst nightmare begins to come true. My nose starts itching like it never has before and my eyes start watering like during my favorite rom-com. And the sneezing... there is no relief. With all this being said, I think we need to break up. Because, obviously, things are not working out. It's not you, oh wait, it definitely is you.
Spring, you are expensive for me and I am not exaggerating. I blow through kleenex box after kleenex box, literally. I should basically be on a Benadryl drip IV because I am taking one every 24 hours. I have even resorted to allergy shots in the past and let me tell you, those are nowhere near cheap. Spring, when are you ever going to pay for anything? I know that you have the looks going for you and that's why everyone adores you, but stop playing clueless.
I have this irrational fear of opening windows when it is nice outside and I shouldn't have to feel that way. I deserve to feel the fresh air wafting through my house just like everyone else. Are you trying to isolate me, Spring? Because that is the start to our toxic relationship and no one should ever have to feel that way. Allergies are no joke and I don't think that you are taking me seriously.
Spring, you are obviously invading my friends' lives' as well. Some of them cannot stand you because you're killing their allergies as well. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but this relationship was over awhile ago and I think we both know it (at least I hope so). We have let this problem go on for longer than we should have ever let it and I feel bad that I enabled it.
So Spring, it is over. My allergies cannot take one more minute of this absurdity. We made a go at it and I think it's a glaring problem how toxic this relationship was from the beginning. And maybe you should stop causing allergies for other people as well, that would be great.
Seriously, stop the pollen and the other allergens.
Sincerely,
All allergy suffers
P.S. Your really pretty and this letter hurts me to write