Approval is a weird thing. Now, this doesn’t apply to everyone. If you’re one of those people who doesn’t really care what people think of them or doesn’t need the approval of anyone else, then that is amazing. I say I don’t care and for the most part I don’t, but I still need the approval of certain people. I can tell people that I’m okay with not fitting in. I say that I hate people and I’d rather be alone, but the truth of it is, I want to fit in and I want to be liked. I know that I don’t need anyone’s approval and I don’t need to compromise my morals to fit in with the in crowd, but I do it anyway. Why? Because like a lot of others, I’m believing this lie that the only way that I will have any value is if people like me and if people want to be my friend. This is so far from the truth. You still have value regardless of how many friends you have or how many people like you. Your value does not and I repeat, does not come from those around you or what others think of you.

I would like to think that because I went to a huge high school where I was at the bottom of the food chain all four years of high school. That’s right, I’m 98 percent positive that there were some freshmen my senior year that were higher up on that totem pole than I was. I figured I should expect to not fit in and to not be in the in crowd. Even while I expect this I assumed college would be different. Maybe it’s just my freshman class, but the cliques are just so prevalent. See, I’m the type of person who doesn’t really mesh with one group. I have friends groups that are total opposites from each other. One isn’t better than the other, it just is. So I tend to float around. I try to not limit myself to one group. But the majority of my class isn’t like that. They found their group last semester and will not speak to anyone outside of that group. I think that’s a bit sad. I think of all the great people I wouldn’t be friends with if would just stick with one group.

See, I thought I’d be really good at the whole not caring, and I think I’m capable of putting on a fake look when it comes to that sort of thing, but I still want to fit in, I want people to like me. Most teens/young adults do. Heck, most people just want to be likable. I think when we as whole stop being likable is when we try to fit other peoples’ molds as to what “likable” entails or when they try to change themselves to fit this mold someone else wants them to be. Like, I’m a hardcore rule follower, sometimes to a fault. If I could remotely get in trouble, the chances of me doing it are negative. I also tend to be more serious about things. I don’t give people pity laughs. Sometimes I have a seriously dark sense of humor and a dark personality. In a way, I think that’s what makes me likable. But the minute I try and be someone I’m not, I think my likability goes down. This isn’t something I became okay with overnight. This took months, years even for me to accept my flaws and quirks.

I guess what I want all of you to know is just be yourself. Everyone is taken anyway. You don’t need approval from anyone. Friends, teachers, whoever; they don’t really matter. If you view yourself positively, then everyone else’s view will follow. It’s getting that self-love and self-approving stuff into place. My biggest wish, prayer, whatever, is that y’all will learn to accept yourselves and to love yourselves and approve yourselves first. If you give someone else the power to determine your approval, you will be let down, because people are imperfect and will ultimately fail.