Sometimes we all lose sight of ourselves, and start to drown in the tidal wave that the storm life throws at us. But during the time that we are drowning, we also learn to see clearly again; we start to see the beauty in the storm.

I’ve always compared my depression to the feeling of drowning, it’s a metaphorical way for me to decide whether I’m going to let it sink me or whether I’m going to swim again. I’m not the person I was two years ago; someone who was very strong and did whatever I wanted to because I didn’t care about what anyone thought about me. Someone I admire now… And I’m okay with that. I’m not the person I was yesterday either, though, someone who was so sad and feeling alone. I’m not even the person I was an hour ago. No person is subjected to a time limit for when they decide to change, it all happens whenever you decide to do it. It’s on YOUR terms when you want to build yourself back up again.

This past year has been hell for me, and the things I have been through are things that most wont be able to compare to. Today I learned that I have to love myself. I need to look past the hundreds of flaws I see everyday and say “fuck it, I love me for me.”. I don’t need anyone to validate my worth as a human being, and I certainly don’t need anyone telling me I’m worth anything less. For YEARS people have told me this, and for years it’s never been truly heard; now I’m listening.

We all go through a storm, and we all feel like we’re drowning sometimes. But it’s up to you to decide whether you’re going to sink or swim; I’ve decided to swim. I’ve decided to brace the tidal wave life has placed before me and handle it the best way I can.

I will never choose to drown in my own sadness ever again, and neither should you.