I don't know that I believe in love at first sight. I like the thought of it, but it's not something I've ever witnessed myself. I like to believe that when I do fall in love, it'll be like one of those cliché movie moments when you lay eyes on someone and just know that you're going to be good together. That sort of describes how I felt the first time I saw you.

I'm not going to lie and say that I knew you were amazing as soon as I met you. I mean, sure, I knew you were talented and I definitely knew that you were attractive, but those are surface-level things. If I'm being honest, I kind of tried to dislike you right from the get-go. I was trying to keep myself from getting my heart broken. I had a feeling about you, though. I knew I couldn't write you off just because I wanted to shield myself from getting hurt. There was something about you that made me need to know more–need to get close to you. As I said, it's a cliché movie moment, but it happens in real life, too.

When we first met, I tried telling myself that I wasn't going to get attached. Clearly, I failed at that, but you have to understand why I failed. I know enough about you now to be able to say that you are a good man, without any shadow of a doubt. You are a gentleman, always putting me before yourself. You are kind. The only time you've ever treated me with anything short of kindness, you apologized right away. You include everyone, no matter who they are or how others feel about them because you know how awful it feels to be excluded. You are intelligent and focused. You are a man on a mission. You set out to do something and you don't let anything stand in your way. You provide a very nice balance to my organized chaos by maintaining your focus and redirecting mine.

You are goofy. The silly faces that you make at me are enough to light up my whole mood. You make me giggle, but not a fake "I'm trying to act cute" giggle–a real, genuine giggle of pure happiness. You finish my obscure references to things that other people would've just stared blankly at me for. You are a good listener. You are a good friend. You keep me calm. You help me focus. You make me happy. You clearly care so much for those around you. You're respectful. You're a good listener and you're a good friend. You're an amazing person and I don't think you see it. Being around you makes me happy. You're goofy and you make me laugh so much. You're better than me in a million ways and I know that. And I know that you deserve so much more than me.

I don't have a single negative thing to say about you. You make me laugh TOO much. You make me smile TOO wide. Your laugh is my favorite sound. When you laugh, your eyes light up in the most beautiful way. It's like, for a moment, you're a little kid without a care in the world. It makes me happy hearing you laugh and knowing that you're happy. I'd never really understood what people meant when they feel butterflies in their stomach when they're around someone, but I certainly do now. I feel butterflies every time you look at me or talk to me–even when your name lights up my phone screen.

Is the heartbreak worth all of the amazing moments that came with it? I think it might be. There are moments between us that I wouldn't trade for anything. We are stuck somewhere between nothing and something. I like to think that if the timing had been different, I could've been the one for you. If either of us had been a little bit braver we would've been magnificent. If, if, if.