To The Boy Who Broke Me Down, I Can Only Thank You

To The Boy Who Broke Me Down, I Can Only Thank You

Thank you for the disrespect and toxicity from our relationship.

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Thank you for the hurt.

I know it sounds insane that I'm thanking you for breaking me down. I mean the names I was called, the way I was spoken to, and the accusations I received, I want to thank you for all of that. It is because of those things that I'm the person I am today.

Because of you, I realized how strong I was. I realized that no matter what obstacle or challenges came way, I could break through that barrier. I am so glad you broke me down.

You cheated on me, called me names, and told me I would never accomplish anything in life. After I left, I made sure to prove you wrong. I made sure to accomplish everything you told me I wouldn’t.

It is because of you that I made amazing grades this semester. It is because you breaking me down and telling me I would never accomplish anything that is making me do it now.

Thank you for breaking me into pieces and tell me that I’m nothing, telling me I’m ugly, talking about my weight, and telling me I’ll never make anything of myself.

Thank you.

I am a different person now because of you. I have never been more motivated in life. I want to accomplish all of the things you said I wouldn’t. I want to go beyond my horizons and accomplish things I thought I never would because you told me I couldn’t.

I want you to know that yes, you broke me down, but now I’m back up and I have realized that I can accomplish anything.

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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Moving On Sucks And Yes, It's Hard To Do

Gaining feelings for someone is the most wondrous and human thing we can do, but it's also scary

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Let me ask you a question, Have you ever felt something strong for someone? That despite certain life circumstances you still feel that feeling for someone so strong it's hard to bury? Are they friends with you and how did they react?

Gaining feelings for someone is the most wondrous and human thing we can do, it's also scary because you either don't want to get hurt or you're afraid it's ruined a pretty good friendship or etc. That when the times comes your feeling for someone will be a lot and you have to make the choice of either telling them or not and even then how to say what you feel towards them as well. It's different for everyone, but at some point in time things didn't in everyone's own way, and so after that happens there's the phase of moving on and that in itself is easier said than done.

When it comes to moving on, in my opinion for myself I tend to try and keep myself busy whether that's playing video games, doing some work or even hanging out with friends I don't want to stay on just one person. I look forward to meeting new people and seeing how my relationship to them pans out, I'm not the best at keeping a good majority of my relationships with people consistent due to the fact that I'm not a great texter at all and for a large majority of the time even now I have a hard time asking to hang out even over text.

I do my best to have talks with my friends about me trying to move on, and always asking myself what has made me be able to peacefully get through my day without having to think of the person? and the thing was it a hard question to answer because my mind wanders, and sometimes you can't help but think about the person but you also are able to think back on that person with a sense of assurance and peace but still have a little creeping of doubt.

I could never figure out why I was this complicated as a human being to have a hard time moving on, then it dawned on me one day, Moving on isn't a matter of fully forgetting a person in my opinion, moving on is a matter of knowing what to do if your feelings and thoughts for that person arise and see how you manage that while at the same time if you interact with them how it could affect it.

There is one person that I still have feelings, and it is hard having to move on but at the end of the day I can sleep knowing that 1) I care for them a whole lot and only wish good things for them and hopefully happiness 2) I'm not a perfect person and try my best to be better each and every day, I at least don't want that person to be out of my life right away but want to slowly gradually be able to move on in terms of my feelings for them and hopefully sorting it all out in due time whatever that looks like and 3) Because moving on can't happen overnight, it takes a lot of times to yourself and figuring out what you want, who you want and how to know your worth.

I know I've been told plenty of times of finding the right one that'll love me for me and give me time but at the same time it is nice to be reaffirmed of those notions because it does take time, and sometimes the person you have feelings for can change over time, and sometimes you have to push through a rift between the two of you in a way that positive and healthy.

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