Poison ivy: a North American climbing plant that secretes an irritant oil from its leaves, which can cause dermatitis. The rash can spread across one's body in patches, in spots, or in large boils. It will itch and burn unless left alone to heal. People will walk up to you, they will notice.
You can't always see other toxins.
As human beings, it's part of our nature to grow and develop. We do a majority of this on our own, but who we are as individuals are shaped by our environments, relationships, and experiences. Who we meet, befriend, and love helps mold us into who we want to be. When this process stops molding you, though and begins to reshape you, not to fulfill your own wants or desires, but others', this is when it becomes an issue.
This is when it becomes abuse.
Our souls and our minds are gardens; we choose what to plant, what to grow and nurture. But we also have the ability to decide what is poison, and take out what's harming the well-being of the plot. We tend to the goodness in ourselves, watch it bloom and blossom and let it show its petals to the ones that we trust the most.
And it should only be us, ourselves, that choose the florets. Now, if someone that you trusted, someone you loved, someone you would give anything to stay with forever, whether it be platonic or romantic, seeded poison ivy in your garden, what would you do? Would you let the ivy dig its roots into your ribcage? Would you let the vines ravel around your lungs? Would the beauty of the mixture of deep emeralds and ivories distract you from the way it sucks the life out of the lilacs you planted?
Chances are, you'd clear the tangles from your yard.
Pure waves of vanilla and rose petals wash away all the evil in the world when you care about someone this much. The words they say when they begin to see you, how you are and how you work, make you believe that this relationship is beautiful and that there is nothing to worry about. The dopamine in your brain is now the conscience in your head that is telling you that there is no wrong in one insult, one kick to your ego, one mental slap in the face. Why? Because they were so sweet that one time that they held you. They said they meant it when they said they loved you.
This is all you remember.
Elegant ivy ravels your brainstem like old cottages, and your structure begins to fall apart, but at the same time, the vines are the only thing holding you together.
This is abuse.
No matter how many times someone says that they love you, that you're their best friend, that they need you, this person is a toxicant. This person's goal is to make sure that you do not leave, because what they really crave is not your friendship, not your love, but your obedience.
Manipulation is the first step in all abuse. When the person who said they loved your flaws tried to change them, not to better yourself, but to appease themselves, this is the start of something unhealthy. Why stick to someone who once loved your circular shape, but was now trying to fit you into a square hole?
And if you feel this way, don't worry, you are still in control.
You can still clip the vines away.
You will always be in control of yourself. If there is a time in your life where you feel as if you're not who you used to be, or who you want to be, grasp it. Study it closely. Look at all the details, from the stem to the roots, take this moment to push yourself through an open door and decide for yourself that your garden is not flourishing. That your mind is not your own. The shape and size of your lot, what it contains, is your doing. You will always have weeds grow, and certain flowers will die, but this is only normal in human life. Your qualities will not always be the same. No matter how you develop, though, make sure you are developing in your favor, and for no one other than yourself.
You have the power to grow anything you put your mind to, and the power to rid yourself of the poisons.
