Proceed with caution: This article is passive aggressive.
Why isn’t sex talked about more? Relationships, hookups, one night stands, whatever you're into... Let’s just be f***ing honest with each other.
For college students, the “hookup culture” we live in is something out of a mystery book. You find someone you enjoy and then all of a sudden they turn into Casper the Ghost and are never to be heard from again, although, Casper is a rather friendly ghost, but you get the point. Sure, maybe you’re the kind of person who enjoys one-night stands and likes to never see the person again. But I think we have more common ground on this issue than you might think. And by "we," I mean any Millennials out there struggling to find their way in the dating world.
Scenario: You’re attracted to someone and they seem to be into you as well. You actually talk to this person -- it’s not just a random encounter with a stranger. Eventually, one thing leads to another. You wake up and find yourself not regretting life. You high-five each other and keep in relatively close contact in hopes of getting together again sometime in the future.
How amazing, right? Keeping this wonderful interaction going would seem like a fun and logical thing to do.
Personally, I don’t like to randomly hook up with someone. I like to know the person, have an established friendship (or something like that) before I do anything. I also don’t like to be with multiple people at the same time, AND this, THIS is how I seem to get the label of “oh, she wants a relationship."
No, no.... NO. What is so hard to understand, here?
I am a 20-year-old college student who got out of an abusive relationship almost a year ago. I am still not ready for another relationship nor do I want anything to do with a relationship right now. Why can’t I just enjoy one person's company without it escalating into something neither of us want? Why is it if that I act interested for more than a week or text you I’m “obsessed”? I’m not going to apologize for enjoying someone’s presence. But you know, I’m a straightforward person and I’m very open with my life so I’ll say it…
I enjoy having sex. Who doesn’t? Well, maybe some don’t, but relatively speaking. It’s human nature.
But hey, WATCH OUT. We got a crazy girl over here. Why on Earth do we live in a world where a girl cannot enjoy sex like a guy can? Now I’m not saying this in terms of going around with as many guys as I can get. Personally, that’s not me, and hey if that’s you then good for you, I’m not one to shame.
But, why can’t I hit up a guy whenever I want to see if they’re DTF? How does that label me crazy?
Guys are praised for their sex lives while girls constantly get shut down and shamed.
On the other hand, if the other person doesn’t feel the same way, then why can’t they just say so? You’re not going to hurt my feelings if you’re honest with me. Sure, I may “like” you but that doesn’t mean I want it to go any further than someone I like to “hang” with. If you’re not feeling it, so be it. It infuriates me when guys disappear because they think that’s the right way to handle it. Maybe they think establishing that they don’t want anything will make it a bigger deal than it is? But I thought that’s just being genuine. I would appreciate someone being straight up 10 times more than them ignoring me every time I see them. It really isn’t that crazy of a concept.
I am finally at a point in my life where I am happy with being single and don’t need someone to rely on 24/7. But it is fun when you find someone that you’re comfortable with, you know each other and it’s not weird.
As long as you don't make it weird.
Honesty and openness really come into play here. Again, not that hard if you know what you want out of it because words are our friends and we like to use them (or, at least, we should use them). Granted, guys and girls speak two different languages, but in theory, we can make the effort, right?
And on the other side of this argument, if two humans actually want to be in a relationship, let them be. It’s not your right to harass your friends because they’re not hooking up with random people anymore. Eventually, maybe when pigs fly…but still, one day, you’re going to want to be in a real relationship too.
So let’s just all rejoice and celebrate the fact that we all like to be humans and do human things. But while I’m sitting here in this restaurant called "Life," can I get a side of "Just Tell Me What You Want" with that? I hear it's delicious.
