I just recently came out and was lucky enough to find my girlfriend right away and, spoiler alert, it is so much better. Now before the "NoT aLl MeN" come at me, this is just based on my personal experience. But I'm sure all girls who are dating girls will agree with me on why dating women is way better than dating men.
1. It's more comfortable.
I didn't think it was possible to feel this comfortable around someone I'm dating. Around men, even those I dated for over a year, I felt like I had to put on some kind of facade that I was someone I wasn't. I had to act tough, like I didn't get upset over things. I had to refrain from doing weird shit that I normally would do around my friends and family. Now, I don't feel like I have to act a certain way. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. My girlfriend and I danced like an idiot for 20 minutes to Mario Kart music at 4 a.m. MARIO KART MUSIC. And I didn't feel self-conscious about it for even a second.
2. You feel more understood.
Crying? Breakdowns? Cravings? Periods? Yep, girls get it. I can talk about my "time of the month" and my girlfriend gets it. Every aspect of being a girl, she gets it because she's a girl, too. Men don't get it. They do not understand the aspects of being a girl. If I cry or have a breakdown, I'm "too emotional" or "overreacting." Periods are such a foreign concept that they don't even want to hear about. I've had guys shame me if I didn't shave my legs every. single. day. But with a girl? We won't shave for a week and it doesn't bother us, because we both understand what a hassle it is.
3. They want to listen to everything you say.
Every single time I was with a guy and talked about how I was feeling, things I liked, or things going on in my life, they pretended to listen then brushed it off like it didn't matter. I thought it was so sweet they even remembered my middle name. My middle name! That's how low my standards were. My girlfriend listens to everything I say. I felt annoying talking about my articles, and she sat down for two hours reading every single one of them. I felt annoying talking about my mental illness, and she listens, actually listens, to understand something that is a part of me. It doesn't matter what it is, she listens.
4. You never have to guess how they feel.
Men? You don't know how they feel about you. Am I just a booty call? Do they actually like me? If they do, how much? Do they see a future, or are they dating me just to have a consistent girl at their beck and call? I've never had to wonder about this with my girlfriend. Ever. She assures me how she feels constantly. I know exactly how she feels. I know exacting where our relationship is heading. I don't have to question anything. We're on the same page when it comes to our relationship because we communicate about our feelings and don't play mind games, unlike men.
5. Your family likes them more.
My family instantly liked my girlfriend. Every single member of my family loves her. My grandma already has her birthday in her wall calendar, planner, AND her phone. If you know my grandma you know this is a huge deal, she only makes it a point to remember birthdays about her family and people she cares about. She considers her part of the family already. This is the first time my dad has ever made it a point to tell me he really likes someone I'm dating. After every person she's met in my family they told me they liked her instantly. Because they know she doesn't have bad intentions.
6. It's WAY more fun.
Every single time I mention going out and doing something with a guy it was always "yea, that'll be cool," and then it never happens. If I mention doing something with my girlfriend it's instantly "OK, let's do that tomorrow." We have gone out and done triple the things I had with any man, even those I dated for over a year. Lake day, mini-golfing, game night, going to a nature center an hour away? We've done it all, and she's actually excited when I bring something up. We like to go out and do things instead of just sitting and watching TV all night.
7. You get to share clothes.
This doesn't seem like a big deal, but man this is a huge perk. Some days I feel like I have nothing to wear and my girlfriend pulls out an entire outfit for me. We basically share our clothes at this point. Dating a girl means you have two closets to choose from.
8. You don't worry about how you look in front of them.
I NEVER took my makeup off in front of a guy. Never. In the morning I would sprint to the bathroom to fix my hair and touch up my makeup. I would even bring makeup to their place to touch up in the morning. Make myself look pretty in the morning just because I felt like they wouldn't like me as much if I didn't look perfect 24/7. With my girlfriend I won't wear makeup all day, my hair could look like a rat's nest and I couldn't care less. I can go braless around her and it doesn't make me self-conscious. I can't explain the relief I feel not caring about how I look in front of her because she doesn't care about how I look. We are both beautiful no matter if we're all done up, or are in our sweats.
9. They don't have scruff so it doesn't feel like you're kissing sandpaper.
THIS. My face is thanking me that I don't feel like I'm getting rug burn every time I kiss her. God does it suck kissing a guy and you just want it to be over because their facial hair is so painful. Girls have perfectly smooth skin, it doesn't feel like your face is being stabbed when you kiss. Plus, they're better kissers, but as much as I want to, I won't get into that.
I don't even need to explain this point.
11. If you shower at their place you have more options than a bottle of 3-in-1 soap.
Guys, you need more than one bottle of soap that apparently "works" as shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. This is the biggest scam, and girls are forced to use this atrocity whenever they stay the night. Girls have a plethora of options. I come out of the shower smelling like a flower instead of smelling like a boy in middle school who didn't know when to stop with the cologne.
12. You don't have to worry about getting pregnant.
Not worrying about getting pregnant: a concept. God this is such a wonderful plus to dating girls. Do you know how nice it is to NEVER have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy? You get to choose when, and if, you want to get pregnant. After I met my girlfriend, I threw out my birth control. No more pills, no more shots, no more IUDs, no more Plan B, no more pregnancy tests.
13. You have such a strong emotional connection.
This is one of the many reasons why I'm dating my girlfriend. I have never had such a strong emotional connection to anyone until I met her, and that is one of the most important things in a relationship. Our connection is so strong that while playing Scattergories, we literally both put "mailman uniform" for one of the answers. I kept thinking "how the hell did we put the same, extremely specific answer for this question?" It still baffles me, but that moment solidified what I already knew, our connection is so strong. Even when planning to finally say "I love you" to each other, we had planned to say it on the exact same day. We are always on the same page about our relationship. I am so thankful I met someone who I connect with on an emotional level, more strongly than I had felt with any man.
While there are many reasons dating girls is better, there are also some downsides. Like...
1. People think it's "just a phase."
Yes, being gay is a sin and a choice... I will surely come to my senses later in life. In case you can't read sarcasm, it is absolutely not a choice. People are gay, Steven. In case you didn't know, being gay isn't a phase. I do not want to date a man and I don't know how much clearer I can be. People assume it's just a phase when you've dated men before. The thought of dating a man now makes me want to convulse. I'm not saying dating guys is wrong, I just hate it. Let me ask you this: if you're straight, can you just choose to be gay? No. So don't tell someone who's gay they can just choose to be straight.
2. People assume you only like them because the sex is different.
Don't get me wrong, the sex is way better. But this is one of the dumbest things I've heard since coming out. "You're only gay because she doesn't have a dick." While that's a plus, that is absolutely not the reason I chose to date a girl. Contrary to the popular belief held by most men, not everything is about sex. I love my girlfriend for all of the positive points I made above.
3. You're scared to show any signs you're a couple out in public.
This one really sucks. This is one of the biggest downsides of dating a girl. You don't know how people will react. Are people going to shout about how your relationship is a sin? Or are guys going to act like you're their own personal porn show? Or, even scarier, are you going to get beaten just because of your sexuality? My girlfriend and I are scared to kiss in public, I can't tell you how many times we've wanted to but had to refrain because we were scared of the consequences. When we say goodbye, we have to look and make sure no one is around. But straight couples don't have this problem. They don't get harassed if they kiss in public, or attacked.
If you haven't picked up on my stance on the matter, dating women is better. It doesn't even compare to dating men. I have never been this comfortable, happy, and reassured in any relationship I have ever had with a man.
Thank you to my girlfriend for giving me the help and inspiration I used to write this article. I love you, Lauren.
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