I am a feminist. I am a proud feminist. Feminism by definition is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes. Therefore, everyone should be a feminist. A greater percentage of the male population has a hard time calling themselves this. Some truly believe that a women’s sole responsibility is to tend to the everyday chores of the home, bear children, care for these children and be at a man’s sexual disposal. Many men believe that feminists are lesbian, men-haters, and for lack of a better word, weird. You will hear guys say, "I'm not sexist," but then turn around and joke about how their woman should be in the kitchen making them a sandwich. Men laugh and find this funny, but right now, I am not here to speak to men. I am here to speak to women. I am here to let you know, that we cannot expect to achieve equality if we constantly belittle ourselves in comparison to men.
One of my least favorite lines I hear a woman or girl say is “I don’t really have girl friends, I just get along with guys better.” This is absolutely the most ridiculous statement ever. By saying this to women, or to men, you are insinuating that you do not like to associate with your gender for negative reasons. You are implying that you are better than the female population because women can be catty and gossipy. That you, a woman, don’t like to associate yourself with your gender so you can look better to guys. When women say this to women, whether they want to admit it or not, they are igniting a competition. They are basically saying, “Hey I know we are becoming friends, but just to let you know, I put men before my friends because I like them better, and I’m good at getting a lot of guys to like me.” When you say this to men, you are basically saying, “Hey guys, I know women suck, but I’m not like other women. I’m better than that.” When I hear a girl or woman say this, I automatically think, I don’t trust you ... you are a woman, and supposedly a “chill” or “laid-back” kinda girl, but you’re also a sexist. You empower men by letting them know that even a woman is ashamed to be a woman.
Another term to stay away from is the word slut, or any other variation of this word. When a woman calls another woman a slut, the only thing she is trying to accomplish from is to make herself look better. She is making a comparison, insinuating that she doesn’t sleep around, or express herself sexually because that's wrong for women. However, the more girls a guy can score, the more appealing he is because he has more game. When you call other women sluts in front of other women, you are showing them that men are the only ones allowed to be sexual beings. Do you think guys sit around going, “Can you believe Greg hooked up with another girl this weekend?! How gross. Has he no self-respect?” Guess what, the answer is more than likely not. Men empower each other during situations like these, and yeah, men use the word slut and other terms regularly to describe women. Why should we bash our gender even more? We have dealt with enough ... If men realize that referring to women as whores, or other degrading names, will not please women, and therefore will result in them not getting as many women, they will eventually, even if very slowly, stop doing it. Darwinism my friends, the weak die out, and there is no room in this future for sexists.
Stop putting your boyfriend before your friends. Look I get that you want to spend time with your significant other, and that's fabulous! However, don’t ditch the ladies that will be there for you even when Romeo finds a new Juliet. Have you ever noticed that when women breakup with a boyfriend whom they’ve abandoned their friends for, their friends always take them back? Yet, their boyfriend only comes around again when he hasn’t found another lady to satisfy him? Women don’t like to give up on relationships because they invest so much emotionally. It’s a beautiful thing the way women are able to connect on such deep levels, don’t abuse it.
Last but certainly not least, stop setting low standards for yourself. Time and time again I have heard the joke, “I am just going to marry rich,” or “I just want to be a housewife.” Life is hard, school is challenging, and becoming the person you want to be is no easy task, but how can we expect our met to treat us by the high standards we expect if we won’t set high standards for ourselves. You may think you're just joking, but jokes are usually funny because they carry some truth. Don’t settle for being degraded because it’s easier than working hard towards the person you want to become. If we want to achieve sexual equality in this world it has to start within the female gender.
Men are not the only ones who are sexist, we are just as much at fault. Take pride in who you are, and what you stand for. Respect yourself, and others will have no choice but to respect you too. Being a feminist does not include picket signs, dreadlocks, degrading men or belittling others, you just need to be a person. You just need respect. That is the key ingredient — respect yourself, respect others and respect life.
