To The "Best friend" Who Pushed Me Away,

I always knew growing up that things change and you had to learn to adapt. Whether you move houses or change schools, you learn to adapt to your surroundings. However, it had never occurred to my former self that people can also change and it was even harder to adapt to their new self. Until I met you that is.

Somehow we went from having insane adventures every day to only talking on the weekends but only those when you didn't have a party to go to. Now we don't talk at all. Now sometimes I go days without thinking about you and when I realize it I feel like a bad person. But why? Why should I feel bad?

I slowly started to notice you replacing me with other things. Sure I expected you to eventually meet to people and have other friends. But not the alcohol. Not the drugs. Never the lying. I slowly felt you losing who you were while pushing me away in the process.

As someone who had been there for you through all the good and all the bad, I tried. I tried until tears streamed down my face, until my voice was hoarse from yelling, and until I realized that it was too late and you were already gone.

Gone.

Just like that every memory we ever shared every emotion we ever jointly felt, and even every time we agreed that our friendship would withstand the test of time that is college was turned to ash. Our friendship ended in ash instead of being engraved into crystal like we said it would. Because that's all ash is, forgotten memories.

However, I am very thankful that you pushed me away. It was a very valuable lesson in how not to act. How not to treat someone who cares about you. You taught me to be a compassionate, caring, and humble friend. Being surrounded by so many amazing people shows me that it wasn't my fault that you threw me to the curb, it was yours. So I thank you. Hopefully you have learned the same from your mistakes, and don't hurt anybody else.