Someone once told me that people can't change. I was told that you could love someone with your whole entire heart and they could love you just as passionately, and they won't change if you asked them to. I was told that people are created a certain way that makes them incapable of changing in order to make the other person in the relationship happy.

Immediately after this conversation, I was frustrated. I paced around my room thinking about how I believed that if the person I loved came to me with a concern or a frustration, I would immediately do anything I could to meet their needs. I paced around my room thinking about how I believed so deeply that people are primarily good and caring, and the idea that this belief was wrong was almost crushing.

The truth is, I know that most of my friendships have ended because someone wasn't willing to change, and giving up or settling was the only option left. I've been friends with people for years and spent several nights explaining through tears how they have hurt me, and they decided not to change. However, my failed friendships and relationships aren't enough evidence for me to believe that people can't change. I need to believe that people can change because I believe that I would change.

I've always been this type of person who was eager to make sure that I wasn't hurting other people more than how they were hurting me. I've always been the type of person to say "I'm sorry" a million times, and made sure to get a cup of coffee for them after to make sure they knew that their existence mattered to me. I've always been the type of person to love other people more than I ever could love myself.

I think that's what the problem is. I think that most people become so consumed with their needs and their problems and their desires that they don't care about making sure another person is happy because their comfort comes first. To some people, it doesn't matter that they may be hurting someone because changing for someone or saying "I'm sorry" is a vulnerable and scary thing.

I guess the problem for me is that someone once told me that if I was ever hurt by them, they would change whatever it was. And I'm a little scared that I'm stupid for believing that they are being honest. I'm a little scared that I believe too highly in people. I'm a little scared that no one could actually love me more than they love themselves.

But, the thing is, I think love is choosing to care for another person's needs more than their own, so I'm going to keep believing that people have the ability to change in order to make another person happy.