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The Best of the 2016 Al Smith Dinner

The savagery of the 2016 election continues.

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The Best of the 2016 Al Smith Dinner
Harper's Bazaar

This week, I decided to take a step back from my usual fiery political commentary, and instead decided that I would write a more lighthearted article. But with only 17 days until Election Day, I couldn't bring myself to fully depart from the political sphere. If you watched the Al Smith dinner or have been on Facebook for more than .2 seconds in the last couple of days, you probably know what that is is — but just in case you don't, I'll provide a brief explanation.

Al Smith was a former governor of New York and the first Catholic presidential candidate when he ran as the Democratic nominee in 1928. He passed away in 1944, leaving behind a legacy as a champion of the rights of immigrants and the working class, and was described by Franklin D. Roosevelt as the "happy warrior of the political battlefield." The Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, held in his honor beginning the year after his death, is an annual fundraiser that donates to Catholic charities to raise money for underprivileged children. Located at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York City, it is run by the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation and hosted by the Archbishop of New York, and attended by many New York politicians and elite. It is traditionally known as the last time the presidential candidates share a stage, where they generally give humorous speeches in which they make fun of themselves and their opponent — commonly labeled as a "roast."

You have probably also heard that some of Trump's jokes were not well received, and he was booed throughout his speech. Al Smith V said in a CNN "New Day" interview on Friday, "Donald had some very solid minutes early on and eventually he crossed the line and took it a little too far... Hillary, on the other hand, was able to laugh at herself and at the same time not underplay any of the serious things Donald Trump has said or done." NPR published an article titled, "At Al Smith Dinner, Donald Trump Turns Friendly Roast Into 3-Alarm Fire," andChuck Todd of MSNBC said, "Look, I didn't know it was possible to lose the Al Smith dinner, but he lost it." (Note: I am aware that these are liberal sources, but I have yet to find an article or quote that does anything but condemn Trump's speech.)

However, in the spirit of the objective, bipartisan, and lighthearted stance I am attempting to take today, I have decided to simply cover what were, in my opinion, the funniest jokes of the dinner from each candidate.

Trump's Finest Moments

1. “You know, the president told me to stop whining, but I really have to say, the media is even more biased this year than ever before — ever. You want the proof? Michelle Obama gives a speech and everyone loves it — it’s fantastic. They think she’s absolutely great. My wife, Melania, gives the exact same speech and people get on her case. And I don’t get it. I don’t know why.”

I think this was by far his funniest joke. It was satisfyingly and uncharacteristically self-deprecating (well not exactly self-deprecating, but probably as close as we’ll ever get) and honest. Bravo for this one, Donald.

2. “These events give not only the candidates a chance to be with each other in a very social setting; it also allows the candidates the opportunity to meet the other candidate’s team… I know Hillary met my campaign manager, and I got the chance to meet the people who are working so hard to get her elected. There they are — the heads of NBC, CNN, CBS, ABC — there’s the New York Times, right over there, and the Washington Post. They’re working overtime.”

This was a good one too because the media is, quite honestly, incredibly biased, especially in regards to the election. Virtually every reputable mainstream news source has either blatantly endorsed her, or has posted so many articles that clearly support her that they might as well have. Also, the simple fact that this was a fair and non-offensive joke is nice.

3. “…Even tonight, with all of the heated back and forth, between my opponent and me at the debate last night, we have proven that we can actually be civil to each other. In fact, just before taking the dais, Hillary accidentally bumped into me and she very civilly said, ‘Pardon me.’”

This joke got its fair share of laughs and I’ll admit, this was a funny joke. It is incredibly relevant because many Trump supporters love to default to the argument that Hillary is a criminal, despite the fact that she has been investigated and her actions were not, in fact, deemed to break any laws. Trump has also capitalized on this argument, saying in the last debate that if he were president, Hillary would be in jail. This is a problem democratically because it suggests using power to seek vengeance on political opponents, which is an abuse of presidential power. So if you really think about it, this joke isn’t great, but it has become so relevant as one of Trump’s principle points of attack and it was well-executed, so it was a pretty good joke.

4. “You know Cardinal Dolan and I have some things in common. For instance, we both run impressive properties on Fifth Avenue. Of course his is much more impressive than mine. That’s because I built mine with my own beautifully formed hands.”

Who remembers the good old days? I’m referring to the primaries, when Donald Trump wasn’t the face of a major political party. Remember the whole hands debate between Marco Rubio and Trump? We all thought it was equally hilarious and ridulous that this was actually argued at a Republican presidential debate but at this point, it seems pretty tame. (For a refresher, read this.) I didn’t really think this was a particularly funny joke, but it wasn’t offensive and didn’t really warrant boos, so by default it was funnier than his other jokes.

5. I aimed to do five but there really aren’t any other jokes that weren’t out of line.

The eagle is the guests at the dinner and the internet reacting to Trump’s “roast.”

Hillary’s Finest Moments

1. “And look [who] else [is] at the dais — we’ve got the Honorable Chuck Schumer, the Honorable Andrew Cuomo, the Honorable Mike Bloomberg, the Honorable Bill DeBlasio, the Honorable Dave Dinkins, and so many other wonderful elected officials. And we have Rudy Giuliani.”

The funniest part of this joke is by far Rudy Giuliani’s reaction. If you’re not from New York or don’t really keep up with politicians who support Trump, here’s what’s been going on with our dear friend Rudy lately.

2. “…speaking of health, Donald has been very concerned about mine, very concerned. He actually sent a car to bring me here tonight. Actually, it was a hearse.”


This joke is pretty clever if you think about it. It seems self-deprecating, but is an acknowledgement of the negative attention her health gets from Trump and his supporters and makes it all seem even more ridiculous, especially when paired with the other health and age related jokes she made at her own expense during this speech.

3. “…you know, because this is a friendly dinner for such a great cause; Donald, if at any time, you don’t like what I’m saying feel free to stand up and shout ‘Wrong!’ while I’m talking.”

Yes, girl! Attack his shameful debate conduct!

4. “You know, come to think of it, it’s amazing I’m up here after Donald. I didn’t think he’d be okay with a peaceful transition of power.”

Donald, we truly are all waiting in suspense to see what you do once the results come in.

5. “…here’s another similarity. The Republican National Committee isn’t spending a dime to help either one of us. So tonight, let’s embrace the spirit of the evening. Let’s come together. Remember what unites us and just rip on Ted Cruz.”

I can’t help but feel a little bad for Ted Cruz. In this Samantha Bee video, he is described as “the saddest guy in the world” and is shown cold calling for Trump in what is probably the saddest video you’ll ever see. “If it’s just a soulless human, does it count as a robo-call?”

To watch Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump’s speeches in full:

Here is Trump’s speech in full (and here is the transcript).

Here is Hillary’s speech in full (and here is the transcript).

17 days until Election Day!!! Who’s ready?!


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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