The vast majority of people who are in my life, I'll never know are there. Oh yes, these are the unsung heroes. The sidewalk and classroom populaters that are constantly surrounding us like schools of fish to a shark. I have fond memories of encounters with this vital species. The one who, as a toddler, I followed down the boardwalk because I thought it was my mom. Or the two who decided to get naked the last time I was in Times Square. But unfortunately, I hardly have time to make connections with these mysterious creatures. Fortunate then, there's the people you know but just not all that well. The one's you say hi to because you at least know them better than the swarms of strangers to whom we are all hopelessly invisible. After that, you get into more serious territory. Your friends, the people you consider going out of your way for. The people you look forward to seeing. Eventually, you get to the girls you love, hate, hate to love, love to hate or something else entirely but not even they can touch the coveted category I want to tell you about! That's right, I'm talking about best friends. Having a group of people that genuinely care about your existence is essential if you plan on going out of state for college. Having these people in my life has gotten me through so far so I'm dedicating this column to them.
When I was a freshman I would always see the same girl in my dorm building. She had a cool style and carried herself a bit more intelligently than the guys I hung out with. She radiated a very "my music is way deeper than your's" vibe. I never said anything to her because I was/ am a bit of a (total) weirdo, but I just had a feeling that there was something different about her. So one day, I walk into the cafeteria and this girl happens to be sitting all by herself. I'm not sure why, but I felt that I had to walk over and say something (usually not my thing). Before I knew it, I had sat down across from this gorgeous woman and by some miracle words actually started coming out of my mouth. We talked about whatever was going on in politics at the moment and I was impressed by just how much she knew and how friendly she was throughout. I said a very awkward goodbye managing to stutter out the phrase "C-c-c-catch you later".... cringe. About a week later or so we spent a couple days just talking and learning about each other. It turned out we had a lot in common. This person had an incredible life story and the fact that mine wasn't so normal either made us both feel comfortable enough to say anything. Being away from my family, it gave me a great sense of comfort that someone could relate to my upbringing. Almost as if our two lives were meant to intersect at one point or another. At the time I had problems with my self- esteem but whenever I got down on myself I noticed that she would take extra care in making sure I was okay. Even if I tried to hide it she'd somehow just know when I needed a helping hand or a shot to the face. Eventually, I began to think that if I were good enough for her then I must not be so bad. It wasn't a completely healthy outlook on myself but a start nonetheless! It wasn't just that she was cool. She was cool and didn't know it. She was funny and had no idea. She was the first person I'd met who was both strong and compassionate. Both extravagant and sincere. She was everything and humble about it.
Three years later, this person is still an important part of my life. She's probably the one person I could see myself realistically taking a bullet for (sorry other friends!). She continues to inspire me with her strength, heart, and perseverance. It hasn't always been easy. There was a time when she moved across the country and I worried that I might never see her again. Going to school wasn't the same without my partner in crime. I felt lost. As if something fundamental to me wasn't working anymore. But we kept in touch and after a very long goodbye she finally made it back. Now, I've gotten to see how far she's come on her own. I've watched her grow as a person and I could not be a prouder man if I tried. She'll probably never fully understand how much our friendship means to me but I try to display my gratitude whenever an opportunity to make her day arises. When you spend a lot of time with a person you start to think about how they might feel before you say or do something. You learn that when someone opens up to you it's sometimes best to not say anything and just listen. I learned that, while we are all tasked with caring for ourselves and building our own lives, the people and things we'd give it all up for are what truly define us.
There are plenty of other people that I'd like to highlight throughout this semester but, to me, this person had to be the first.
