How Long-Distance Relationships Can Bring You Closer Together

The Science Of How Long-Distance Relationships Can Actually Make The Heart Grow Fonder

The inventive study revealed that around 25-50% of college students are currently in long-distance relationships and around 75% have been in long-distance relationships at some point.

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When it comes to relationships, I have always wondered whether long distance relationships actually last. Does absence actually make the heart grow fonder? Can not seeing your beloved on a regular basis elicit a more passionate romance to bloom?

A recent 2013 study published in the Journal of Communication by psychologists Crystal Jiang from the City University of Hong Kong and Jeffrey T. Hancock from Cornell University have resorted to answering these questions from a scientific and psychological level.

According to their study, long distance (LD) relationships are able to manifest and stimulate a much more intimate relationship because couples tend to spend more time talking about serious and thought-provoking topics. In fact, the usual couples who are almost always together apparently shy away from engaging in deep conversations which revolve around their future and eventual marriage goals.

As the study asserts, "Distance may shape the communication goals LD couples want to achieve and give rise to corresponding changes in cognition and behavior that tend to stabilize the relationship." Such goals that LD couples want to establish include an infinite amount of trust and freedom to be completely themselves with each other.

While reading this intricately designed study, many of my puzzling questions were answered and now I feel that physical distance does somewhat determine the level of intimacy between couples. If the hearts are conjoined, then being physically away doesn't affect the budding romance negatively.

Moreover, the inventive study revealed that around 25-50% of college students are currently in long-distance relationships and around 75% have been in long-distance relationships at some point. This is an impressive statistic to learn about because it further refines the fact that most romantic relationships tend to occur when people are in their early 20s when the heart is superbly energetic. The amount of energy which exists between two people is ultimately what defines the foundational architecture of their relationship. Essentially, that "energy" can be achieved regardless of the couple's geographical distance if the hearts are connected.

As a matter of fact, the further away you are from your loved one, an increased amount of passion and longing for your significant other eventually arises. In a sense, every single moment seems to be worth a lifetime because your time together is very brief and restrained. Fewer rendezvous will actually start to become more impactful as opposed to regular face-to-face meetings on a timely basis. Such is the genuine strength of being involved in long distance relationships.

Physical distance does not account for emotional distance and this distance could be lessened via the use of modern technology. Such examples of modern technology include Skype, Facetime, Messenger, and other forms of video chat outlets which facilitate articulate conversations between loved ones.

Nowadays, long-distance relationships have been scientifically proven to withstand the test of time and promote a more serious type of relationship. If this sounds like what you would want to embark upon, then take the leap of faith and get moving! Love is a universal emotion which transcends all geographic boundaries and subsequently makes your racing heartbeat 10 times faster. Just keep in mind, that finding true love can force you to travel many distances, even globally if you don't find the special one right in front of you. Seems like long distance relationships actually does make the heart grow much fonder than it ever really was.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

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I Know That If We Can Make It Through Long Distance, We Can Make It Through Anything

Why long distance is the best thing to ever happen to me

Emi
Emi
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I don't.

It isn't.

There are parts of being in a long distance relationship that I never know if I will fully be able to articulate. The moment I said goodbye to my boyfriend when we left for college freshman year, I closed the door behind me as he drove away and just crumpled to the ground and sobbed. This sounds unbelievably dramatic, and I had never been an emotional person until this moment. However, the fear of the unknown was paralyzing. My best friend was about to live five hours away from me, I was going to be in a different time zone, and I didn't know when I was going to see him again. This was my first real experience where I felt like I had just lost someone I loved.

Of course, I didn't really lose him. But that moment, everything did change. I was forced to become independent and had to re-learn how to find happiness being alone. And boy, was I alone. The first few days after he left, I was still at home preparing to move to my school. I could hardly function. I barely ate, and I had never felt so drained of energy. Whenever I would play music and a song that reminded me of him came on, I could not help but cry. My parents physically dragged me to a "going-away" dinner, and I only spoke a few sentences the whole time. Again, this sounds ridiculously theatrical (and if I had not actually lived through it myself, I would agree). My first semester at college, I was the definition of lost. It took me a long time to find myself without my best friend by my side.

But gradually, things got better (and continue to). Now, our goodbyes are still sad but not quite so sloppy. I no longer feel empty without him. I have found my passions at school and with these discoveries have come people that share them. I have an established group of friends, I have a clear professional direction, and I have goals that feel achievable. Re-creating my identity outside of a boyfriend, while unbelievably difficult, has forced me to self-reflect on who I am as an individual and who I want to become.

Because I don't have a boyfriend around to spend weekends with, I spend all my time with my friends. I have time to dedicate to school, an on-campus job, and serving on executive positions for multiple organizations. My schedule is my own, and I can create time to go to the gym six days a week. I am able to get coffee with potential employers and explore the city of Indianapolis without worrying about canceling plans with my boyfriend. I have truly had an independent college experience, and I do not doubt that this has allowed me to become more involved and invested in my friends, my schoolwork, and my extracurriculars than I would have had we gone to the same school.

These are the things I try to remind myself of when we spend Valentine's Day, both our birthdays and almost every single weekend apart. This is what I force myself to think when he is missing from my sorority's formal, date nights, and philanthropy events. When my roommates spend the night with their boyfriends multiple days a week, I smile and say, "Have a good night!" I try not to envy their position too much because I tell myself that long distance has given me so many opportunities.

This is true. But I also miss him, all the time. One thing is for certain, long distance has made me a much stronger individual. I have learned how to find happiness outside of being with him. I have discovered more about myself the past few years alone than I would have had we been at the same school. I have fostered life-long relationships with my friends.

And, at the end of the day, I know that if we can make it through long distance, we can make it through anything.

Emi
Emi

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