**DISCLAIMER** Everyone's body is beautiful regardless of shape, size, weight, etc. Also, normal and weird are just social norms and labels put on by people and shouldn't be taking too seriously. Live your life how ever you want regardless of the people who judge and label you.

I've always been weird and on the heavier side of the equation; it used to bother me as a kid. But now, it's just how I see myself. I've never been drastically overweight, but I've never been a size zero.

My mind sees this world different than others; I'm constantly beyond curious about every little thing. Sometimes I say way too much information, and oddly don't usually regret it. Most of my friends throughout my life have been "normal" people withholding all the strange things about them until just the right moment.

I am not like this.

I will tell an in-depth, "awkward Tinder date" story or "the time I peed myself" while driving story the second I meet someone. You're maybe thinking, why would I do that? And my only response is why not? I've never really understood the social construct of say this and not that, be skinny not fat.

Growing Up Fat

As a child with a religious upbringing, I used to pray every night that Jesus would come down and make me less fat. I used to dream that I would just wake up one day and not have a muffin top.

Clearly, these things never happened.

Being fat never really bothered me until gym class became an everyday thing. Changing into gym clothes in front of girls with better bodies and nicer clothes than I has always made me cringe. I allied myself at a young age with a fellow fat girl; we spent our days sneaking snickers bars from our mothers while they packed us organic lunches and fed us vegetables as an afternoon snack. We had the best time together, and I felt like I didn't have to hide my fatness.

We both understood the journey we were on. Some of our skinnier friends, though, would occasionally tease us telling us how easy it would be to just not be fat. Which wasn't true, because unfortunately for us, our metabolisms were already slowed down to a snail's pace so every snickers bar stuck to our thighs like wet leaves on a rainy day.

I didn't accept my body until late in my high school days. I was always back and forth between trying to exercise and eat well or just live with the body I had. Growing up in a family where my older sister was as thin as a board and received my mothers genes while my father and I constantly struggled to keep our weight at a minimum was difficult. It was tough to realize that my mothers harsh criticism was only her way of hoping I wouldn't get teased at school.

School was never a problem for me, though. I wasn't the smartest kid, but I had a few secret weapons up my sleeve to make sure everyone at least liked me enough. I would constantly dress in the most bold patterns and mismatched outfits I could find, spending hours thrift shopping for the most outrageous pieces that honestly made me laugh sometimes.

I would also keep track of people birthdays and ask them weeks ahead what baked goods I could make for them, then go home the night before and triple the recipe so most of my grade could have a taste. If it wasn't someones birthday, I would still bring cupcakes or candy almost every Friday. People knew me as this girl with bright red hair, crazy outfits, and cupcakes. This is when I realized people don't give a sh*t about what you look like as long as you have a kind heart and a beautiful soul.

Being the fat friend gives such a creative perspective because you are forced to find yourself in a different light outside of the social norm. For me, this turned me into the weird friend as well.

Being the Weird Friend

People ask me often: "Do you ever wonder what it's like to be normal?" My response is usually, "No, because I think the most "normal" human beings are all hiding just a bit of weirdness, and why would I want to hide my weirdness?"

I grew up in a very open home, which I never truly realized until I witnessed other family structures. My mother gave my sister and I just enough leeway to be expressive yet also made sure she taught us the basic morals and values of life.

My overactive mind started to dream big at a young age; I wanted to be Hannah Montana, a farmer, a president, a tattoo artist, really anything I could think of. I've always wanted to try a little bit of everything, which is why 90% of memory is just random trivia. I used to explore the extensive acres of my backyard with my sister and our friends, believing we were lost each time, only to realize home was always up a giant hill.

I didn't truly realize I was the weird friend until people started telling me my stories were always so exciting or my dreams always so detailed, which I guess is something people don't put effort into anymore. I believe that dreaming big, sharing all your experiences, and just living life is all we can do. Why put up a guard with anyone?

Guarding someone from your life experiences only hurts the relationship you could have with that person.

Part of my weirdness spawned out of my love for talking. People sometimes introduce me as the girl who loves to talk, which I can't lie, it's very true. My mind is always spinning with new stories and topics to bring up in conversation. For most people, this isn't the case.

Most people, I think, just talk about small things and try not to take up a lot of time. Again, I never understood why this was a social norm: Why can't people just be honest and talk? Not worried about the time or the stories, just speak, understand, and learn.

Acting outside of social norms has only taught me how to accept and love myself. I never want to feel like I need to hide my thoughts, ideas, or shared human experiences. Sharing my life story and hearing others is such a passion of mine, because there are millions of people in this world, each with such unique and relatable stories that deserve to be shared.

Being the weird fat friend has made me who I am today. And as I go into adulthood, I begin to realize that people really don't care if you're strange or heavier. They are so focused on their own life that at the end of the day accepting yourself is all you can do. My advice for all of you who feel strange: accept who you are and live your life the way you want to. You are beautiful and wonderful regardless of your differences.