Let’s set the record straight: my amount of self-respect doesn’t diminish based on what hour or with whom I partake in certain activities.

Time and time again, I see articles surrounding hook up culture and the idea that women who partake in this lifestyle lack self-respect. I’m not saying there aren’t instances where this might be true, but it doesn’t mean that all circumstances are alike. I hear judgment in voices and watch eyes roll, but being the 2 A.M. girl does not necessarily mean that I don’t think highly of myself, so stop judging me like it does.

I understand that not everyone agrees with this lifestyle; that’s fine. I’m not asking for your permission because regardless of what you think, I’m going to do what makes me happy. I’m also not saying that there aren’t any negative side effects that come with this type of arrangement. Just like in a committed relationship, the hook up culture can make you doubt your decisions.

What I want to convey and need people to understand is that participation in the late night hookup culture has no bearing on my self-respect. I’m still a strong, badass individual who knows my limits and when to step away because I care for my wellbeing. Don’t think for one second that boys that I’m not in relationships with can dismantle my character or make me think any lesser of myself.

Who I am, how I view myself, and what I am capable of in life extend far beyond my participation in the hook up culture. I still have standards, and I don’t falter on them—even with hookups. Being the 2 A.M. girl doesn’t mean I lack self-respect or sleep around freely. I choose to be the 2 A.M. girl because I love myself, and I am not looking for a relationship. Until I decide there’s something or someone better suited for me, there’s no judgment to be given about my decision.