Being a Student & Being Depressed

Being a Student & Being Depressed

We all suffer eventually, some longer than others

To the college students who are still trying to find yourself and figure out how to do day-to-day tasks with depression. Weather you're a freshman or junior, you matter and don't let anyone tell you differently.

It is so difficult to be physically present but be miles away mentally. You sit in class, unable to concentrate because your brain feels as if its shut down. You just stare at something or find yourself unconsciously doodling. Then later be so angry with yourself for not paying attention in lecture, knowing you wouldn't of been able to stay alert anyways because the "monster" in your head is telling you "you're not smart enough", "you'll never be anything anyways in life" or the one that really gets me "everyone is disappointed in you already anyways, just give up" but thats not true. You ARE smart enough, you WILL be something in your lifetime, and NO ONE is disappointed in you! You have the whole world behind you, cheering you on. It may not seem like it somedays but I can promise you, at least one person will ALWAYS be there. I'm lucky enough to have a whole army behind me, some that don't even know me personally but saw my story and reached out to me. Random people took time out of their day to send me an encouraging message. You people will never know how much it is appreciated.

Then the next day you're rocking it out, accomplishing everything you needed to get done, actually understanding what is going on in class, drinking enough water and eating healthy. As if yesterday never existed and you never had any depressing thoughts or doubt yourself. I understand completely what you're going through, the hardest part is having people who don't suffer, understand that this is your life. Even with taking medication for depression, you still have these days frequently.

Now I'm not sure if you are just figuring out what works out for your body medication wise, or if you suffer quietly. You're still going to have those days, and all you can do is take it day by day. I expressed my feelings on an off day and was told by a friend "small tasks each day girl" meaning, just do whatever you're comfortable with, but make sure you get it done. Its ok if its just one small thing, at least you committed and got it done.

Thank the family, friends, loved ones and even strangers, for everything they have done. Even if they don't realize or mean to do something that benefits you, just thank them. They are also suffering. They have to deal with your mood swings, keeping you motivated, and everything else they do on top of their schedule.

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If Depression Was A Person

The little moments in life will always outshine the darkest of times.

If depression was a person, she’d be the one always lurking around the corner. Not always taking the center stage but always finding a space out in the audience. Piling cement blocks on my chest one by one, she’d make it her purpose to make everything seem heavy while simultaneously making nothing matter at all. She’d be the one who cuts a cold, hard, stare at me in the mirror at night. She tells me I will never find love and that I’d never find the true meaning of happiness.

Yet, depression is not a person.

You are not your depression. You are you - a strong, beautiful, and kind soul.

So when my depression wants to act as a part of my identity, I simply remind her of the things that make the world light up when all seems dark:

  • The feeling of my hands around a warm mug and the first sip of coffee at the brink of a chilly winter morning.
  • The orange and pink glow that illuminates the sky every morning outside of my window.
  • Getting a new record and discovering the art inside of the cover.
  • The pride of acing an exam that you studied so hard for and worried endlessly about.
  • The laughter you get with your best friend when your stomach hurts and tears trickle down your cheek.
  • Hearing a specific song on the radio and remembering a happy memory only you know about.
  • Drinking wine and dancing in the kitchen with your best friends.
  • The feeling of holding hands with someone for the first time.
  • Approaching the New York City skyline at night.
  • Finding old photographs from your childhood.
  • Walking down the boardwalk at night time and not getting hit by the train car (South Jersey insider).
  • Watching your favorite movies, reciting them line for line, and still finding them as sensational as the first time you watched them.
  • The feeling of excitement and joy when you see your food approaching your table.
  • Going to dog parks and owners letting you pet their adorable pups.
  • The rush of swiping your metro card and just making the subway, as the saxophone player orchestrates your triumph.
  • Laying underneath a pile of freshly washed, warm laundry.
  • Getting warm chocolate chip pancakes at the diner after a night out.
  • Sleeping in the car on the drive back from the beach, sand in your hair.
  • Hearing and telling stories of passed loved ones.
  • Blasting Christmas songs… in July… down the highway.
  • Playing house in Ikea or any other furniture store.
  • Seeing the most important people in your life being successful and happy.
  • Your dog’s excitement after coming back home from a long trip.
  • The pure vibrance of sunflowers.
  • Book stores, museums, outdoor concerts.
  • Long car rides with great playlists and sing alongs.
  • Pure conversations about life with complete and total strangers.

I could go on and on with this list. There are so many small moments in life that will overshadow the bad days. I will vouch that everyone’s idea of happiness is different, but at the end of the day we all have people in our lives who love and care about us. When the person depression acts as takes over, just remember all of these beautiful moments that are uniquely suited to your life.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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People Everywhere Need To Be More Aware Of Mental Health

Why is knowing about mental health important?

Mental health is a serious topic that has become a more talked about, many people are starting to realize that they have symptoms of certain illnesses. This week a good friend of mine took his own life after struggling with depression.

At first, it was a shock, nobody thought he was the "type." The thing is with depression there is no "type" someone can look extremely happy but be filled with sadness and resentment. It's hard to tell if someone is depressed or suicidal.

They might not show any symptoms then, one day, they're are gone. It's important to treat everyone with kindness and with equality. The national suicide hotline which is free and available 24/7 can be reached at 1-800-273-8255, if there is ever a time that you are thinking that you are not worth it, or that you deserve to die, I urge you to call this number.

You are loved by so many people, you don't deserve to take your own life. Many people might not realize their lives are important, but you are.

Getting active in different activities can help with depression. Finding people who have similar interests as you help as well. There are different support groups for those who struggle with depression, anxiety, bipolar, and many more. If you are a college student there are other options that are within the university.

For example, I go to Florida Gulf Coast University and we have a program called CAPS which is a group of people who are there when you need someone to talk to. CAPS also can prescribe medicine that is needed for some mental disorders. If you are feeling like you are struggling with how you feel please seek help, there are so many different ways to do it. Many organizations are available for anyone to use.

Cover Image Credit: itstom / Flickr

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