Facebook is not a safe place for a lot of us right now. It seems like every week a new couple is getting engaged and here we are, still single.
Of course we're happy for all the people on our feed. Of course we are. But where are all the people that are happy for us? Where are the people congratulating our lifestyle? Being single is hard right now, for so many reasons.
You start to doubt yourself.
As strong, independent and grateful as you are, it's hard not to feel like you're missing out. Like something is wrong with you for being single. Seeing all of your friends with rings on their fingers and dates in their calendars can sometimes call your sanity into question.
Even when you know you're in a good place and that where is you is where you're supposed to be, sometimes you can't help but want what other people have.
You look at people differently.
As much as you don't want to, your friends that are engaged/newly married become different people in your mind. They're living a different life than you and you don't know how to relate. You don't know how they're feeling, so you start to feel differently toward them
A divide starts forming in your relationship. They become the married people and you remain the single people. Maintaining your friendship becomes so much harder and you're not always up for it. You don't always feel like being around them because they make you doubt yourself.
People look at you differently.
This may just be me, but the more people get engaged, the more people ask me when I plan on doing the same.
"Don't you want that? Don't you want to be happy for the rest of your life? Aren't you looking for someone?"
Directly or indirectly, it feels like you're being bombarded with people telling you that your life is complete, which leads you to believing them. They mean well, but knowing that doesn't make hearing all this any easier.
You plan for a life that you're nowhere near having.
Pinterest is the worst in this regard. You have boards for every aspect of the wedding process: rings, engagement photos, dresses, decorations, all of it. You catch yourself daydreaming about the person you'll marry and you think about the best way to propose or be proposed to.
It may seem harmless at the time, but later it feeds into the fact that you're looking for something that you don't have and falling prey to not being grateful for where you currently are.
You see a spouse in everyone.
The cute barista at Starbucks who knows your name already would make a great husband. You can just tell. In a pinch, you can totally see yourself marrying your platonic friend because that's what friends are for.
Instead of waiting patiently or enjoying the life you have, you're searching for the right person in all the wrong people. Being single is not a disease that you need to get rid of, but it can feel like that all the time.
You're not content.
With all the engagement and all the marriages, all of the above just metastasize into this big ball of "why don't I have what they have." You don't enjoy life because you want what you don't have.
Being single in a sea of engagements can seem like a never ending ocean of despair, but it shouldn't. This is a time to get to know yourself and to love life for what it is, not what it could be. Singleness is a great season to be in. Don't let anyone else, or yourself, tell you otherwise.
