At a young age, we were taught to put others and their wants and needs before our own; we were taught to be selfless. To this day, I have constantly put others before myself, whether that means I said yes to something I did not want to do, took an extra job when I should have spent that time doing homework, spent thirty minutes on a phone call, during a busy time, that could have waited, and more. As wonderful it is to be a selfless person for others, it can begin to tear you down.
I would never tell you to be rude and not care for others, but I am going to tell you to put yourself before others. It is called self-care and it is vital. As we strive to make those we love happy, we tend to forget about what we want and what makes us happy. So, seriously, put yourself first and think about what you truly want.
First of all, the people you love, love you too. Our loved ones want to see us healthy and happy. Relationships are so much better when the other person is feeling their best. Think about how you feel when you spend time going to the gym on a regular basis, get enough sleep at night, say no to a plan so you can study earlier in the day and the list goes on. When you become so busy that you do not have energy, your health and mood affects the people you love, not just your own well-being.
As if your schedule was not busy enough, you make it busier than it has to be. Being that busy causes you to feel burnt out and that feeling is no fun. It does not allow you to enjoy the good and happy moments in life. Not only do you become tired and stressed, but you start to have anxiety. The little moments, like dinner with a friend or trying to catch up on your favorite show, seems tiring and almost like a chore. Your exhaustion and irritation becomes obvious and may create bigger issues.
The issue I struggled with most, while being a selfless person for others, is that resting is not an option. You need to sleep. I know you want to say yes to everything that comes your way because you want to be a people pleaser, be nice, or even avoid conflict but you have to stop that. You are not doing it because you want to. When you over-schedule yourself and do not get enough sleep, your brain and body suffers. Not to mention, lack of sleep can cause you to get sick more often.
In your twenties, it's easy to forget about your needs and wants as you want to please the people in your life and make them happy. So, please take care of yourself and create boundaries. It is okay to say no to others while doing so.
