It seems like every time I reveal my relationship status to peers, they are either slightly repulsed or reduced to a state of infinite awe -- and not because of the fact that I am in a relationship. Rather, people are shocked because I have been dating the same person for six (going on seven) years.
Unfortunately, I am finding that long-term college-aged relationships are somewhat taboo in our fast-paced, attention-deficit, in-it-for-the-thrill hookup culture. For many valid reasons, people feel insecure about the very idea of hunkering down with someone they may not feel they fully know or want around for the rest of their lives. People are afraid of commitment because it is, of course, a big challenge for most. I am here, however, to say that healthy long-term relationships are not the doom and gloom they appear to be from the outside.
From where I am standing, understanding long-term relationships requires understanding healthy regular relationships. First of all, it is impossible to make something out of nothing. If there is little substance to a relationship from the beginning, then it is unlikely that there will ever be something there to cling to. Fortunately, though, if things are rocky in the beginning stages, then there is still hope. As long as the relationship began as an acquaintanceship / friendship or is based upon more than just physical attraction, there is more of a chance that the relationship will become stronger over time. Love, after all, is an enhanced friendship founded upon the same valued principles. Love at first sight is not a thing (no matter what the Disney movies keep telling us). Love is laughter, shared experience and acceptance of quirks.
In that vein, being in a long-term relationship requires a degree of flexibility. Being in a relationship for months and even years on end means rolling with preferences, schedules and aspects of personality that clash with your own. The key to success in a long-term relationship is not continually seeking similarities, but rather trying one's best to understand and embrace some of the weird, horrible things that make their significant other a unique individual. This is always much easier said than done (trust me), but, as in genuine friendships, diversity and the collaboration that inevitably goes along with it is important in a long-term relationship.
Finally, being in a long-term relationship requires work. That's right; add this one to the ever-growing homework to-do list. People have to be willing to sit down and talk out disagreements without letting their undesirable emotions get in the way. They must also remember that even though they may live with their significant other (or hang out with him / her frequently), the same social effort typically put toward friendships needs to be applied in a relationship, especially if it is long-term.
Do not fear long-term relationships because they seem daunting. Rather, try one as a new step toward being a more disciplined, loyal and loving human being.
