It's Been 5 Years Since I Lost my Nan...

On January 30, 2013, at 2:00 a.m., time stopped. My pop-pop had called and told us my nan passed away. She suffered from diabetes for most of her life, had many surgeries, lost limbs, and her eyesight, but she never lost hope. We knew her time was coming, but we never thought it would be so soon- not before I got to say goodbye.

It’s been five years since you were taken from me, Nanny. So much has happened and changed that I need to tell you about.

You weren’t here to see me go to prom, graduate high school, get accepted to college, achieve good grades, and see me grow up. I was 15 when God called you home. Now at 20 years old, I need you more than ever. I understand now that even though you weren’t there physically, you were there in my heart watching over me.

When something good happens I want to rush to my phone and let you be the first to know because you always wanted to be the first. Even though that is not possible anymore, you are still the first to know. You are up in heaven celebrating my triumphs and sharing in my sorrow.

This year would have been 60 wonderful years with the love of your life, Pop-pop. Thank you for showing me what true love is and how it can still live on even after death. He misses you every day. We are taking care of him, I promise.

You were the strongest person I have ever known. Despite everything you went through, you kept a smile on your face and put your family before yourself. You taught me to be strong and selfless.

I can’t believe I have gone this long without you and I have to go the rest of my life without you. Honestly, I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until I lost you.

I think about you every day. I miss you every day. I will love you forever. I am so thankful for the memories we made and I can’t wait to tell my future children all about you.

I hope I have made you proud and will continue to do so.

There’s a saying that it gets easier as time goes on, but I don’t think that is the case. Every day that you are not here, it gets harder.

You stay in my heart every day, and I remember you when I look at your ring that I now wear. It’s a piece of you that I get to carry with me all the time, so I know you are always with me.

As a child, I knew what death was and I knew everyone died eventually, but I never thought it would happen to me. January 30, 2013, was the day I woke up and reality set in.

These past five years have gone by so fast. I still remember your face, your smile, your laugh, your voice, and your love.

I hope you are walking up there and eating so many M&M's

I love you, Nanny….. And I always will.