Becoming a peacock. What an interesting concept that I have to explain and of course it can be the hardest thing to explain.
I began liking peacocks, I believe, in junior high. Of course, I have no recollection on what drew me into them. Peacocks were nothing like me in high school or junior high. I practically faded into the crowd and I really did not like drawing attention to myself even for my achievements. I would turn bright red and kind of walk away. But, I kept liking peacocks even though I thought they had nothing to do with me or had nothing really in common with me.
As I go through college, I begin to realize what some of the things peacocks actually meant to me and what actually made them catch my attention. A peacock , to me, represents what I see in my future self and what I would like to become. Peacocks are classy and beautiful. They are confident in the way they walk. What draws them to people are the mostly silent and graceful way they move. It has taken me time to start becoming who I want to be as a person. It has taken several people in my life to help me become a peacock. I remember being so negative on myself in my junior high and high school days. A lady in my church has had such an impact on how I view my outside appearances. She always comes up to me and asks," How are you today?". If I say 'good', she acts like she did not hear me until I say 'beautiful'. Granted, there are times where I do not feel 'beautiful' at all and I really do not want to say it but just saying it out loud makes me feel better about myself every time. There are many other people I can describe and say how they have helped me in my journey to become a peacock but there is one person I want to brag on. My current boyfriend has been so encouraging to me and supportive in the little amount of time he has actually been in my life that it is almost a bit overwhelming to me. If I ever doubt myself or criticize myself, he always finds a way to take that negativity out and switch it into something encouraging. He always wants me to do my best. He is such a blessing to me and he is the one that is currently helping me the most on my journey to become a peacock.
It may have taken several years before realizing what I could be but I can not wait for the day where I finally become a peacock that is confident in herself, feeling beautiful, and being the classy , graceful lady I was always meant to be.