To The Human Who Never Loved Me Back,

I’ve always had a hard time being affectionate toward a person I was attracted to if I knew the attraction was mutual. It is the weirdest, and counterintuitive, but that’s just what I felt. I would naturally become distant the more I let someone in, and eventually, that person wouldn’t be in my life anymore. I hated the idea of someone completely knowing who I was because then it left no room for surprise or spontaneity. Essentially, I was too scared to be too comfortable with someone.

And then one day, I met you.

And then one day, everything changed.

You have absolutely no idea how much you changed my life in the best way possible. I let you in more than anyone else in my life. You knew me best. You gave me a reason to believe in happiness and to believe that life might actually have something good in store for me, as long as I stayed true to my roots but wasn’t afraid to be a better version of myself.

You were the first person to tell me that being vulnerable isn’t a bad thing but can bring people together. You were the first person to tell me I was good enough, and for that reason specifically, I dismissed the guards who were protecting the walls of my heart. After so many years, you gave me a reason to let someone in.

You gave me a reason to chase my dreams and to thrive in whatever I do. You constantly told me that I had the potential to be something great and you affirmed me whenever I took a step closer to achieving a goal. I loved you for believing in me because you were the first person who did, even though that first person should have been myself.

I loved your presence and everything you stood for, but I know that feeling wasn’t mutual. And even though it wasn’t mutual, thank you for not loving me back.

Because you didn’t love me back, I emotionally evaluated myself and spent more time on myself than I ever had before at any point in my life. Instead of being worried about what someone else was thinking about me, I was more focused on what I thought of myself. I spent time fixing the negative aspects of my personality and spindled my way to success by investing in myself more, rather than trying to seek validation from others to invest in me.

By not wanting me, you taught me that the only person in the world that really wants me is me. The only person who truly loves me is me. And at that point in time, I didn’t want me, nor did I love me, and that is what I’ve changed.

Some people are meant to stay in your life forever and some are meant to be experiences wrapped in a paper of experiences and lessons learned. Even the good people leave, and while that might be really hard to grasp and understand, it is more important to understand why they were in your life in the first place.

So, to the human who never loved me back, I’m still going to love you because of what you stand for and how it liberates me. This love isn’t bitter; it's thankful.

To the human who never loved me back -- you’re still a huge reason why I am the way I am. You brought so many great things into my life, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

To the human who never loved me back, I hope you find the person that loves you back. The person that loves me back exists in my reflection, my voice, my physical and emotional presence, my investments, my laughter, my success, my failures, my heartbreaks, my disillusions. That person exists in me.

And one day I’m going to see my reflection in someone else’s image, and that’s when I’ll thank you the most for never loving me back.