After spending countless days with my amazing sisters and besties, I can literally say that being in a sorority is the greatest thing ever. Bonding over a Vodka Spritzer at Happy Hour has definitely given me a true sense of self and I have really learned so much about myself. I'm so thankful for the countless fraternity parties, the letters on the back of my car, and the numerous amount of sorority-themed t-shirts in my closet, because clearly, that is what truly matters. We all praise TFM and TSM, because they are the Greek Life Bible, and we all live and breathe this truth every day.
1. Daddy pays for everything
After we roll up to the house in our Ferraris and BMWs, all of our sisters sit down to a simple meal of fresh from the Pacific ocean caviar, prime rib smothered in a succulent au jus sauce, and lobster tail drowned in garlic butter served on our fine china. To go along with our meal, we are served sparkling wine in a golden chalice. We dawn fresh linen napkins while we eat because a lady should never get au jus sauce on her Lily Pulitzer dress or Tory Burch sandals, because obviously this is what we all must wear to dinner. After dinner we sit outside and laugh about how simple and quaint it must be to not be in Greek Life. Ah, the days before sorority life. It's so nice to have friends that we pay for. Thanks for the sisterhood, Daddy.
2. We like to party
Every night, we throw "House Bunny"-like parties at the sorority house because who doesn't want to trash the house that Daddy's money has paid for? We invite all of the fraternities over and have a giant party because every sorority movie ever portrays that, so of course it's the truth! Because we love to trash our beautiful "Castles."
3. We pay for our friends
You know what, just yesterday, I handed my precious little a hundred dollar bill and said "Thanks for being my friend. You're the best friend that money could buy." I'm sure other clubs and organizations in college don't have fees and dues either and everyone gets in free because that is definitely the type of world we live in.
4. Sorority girls are unintelligent
Because like Elle Woods at the beginning of "Legally Blonde," we are all just on the look out for our Warner. Just catch me at the library "studying" to get my MRS. Degree. Heaven forbid the people in Greek Life are the groups who have the highest GPAs on campuses around the country.
5. We are all basic
You will never find us without Starbucks in our hands, because the Keurig Daddy bought us was too difficult to use. Pumpkin spice isn't just a flavor to us, it's a way of life. It's totes normal for us to take Insta pics with totes adorbs puppies. And abbreviate things.
6. We are all uninvolved
All we do all day long is sit around the house and discuss how SRAT we are. We also twiddle our thumbs and talk about which fraternity guys are the cutest. No one ever goes to class or tries to make a difference in the community. That would just be absurd.
Of course, if "House Bunny," "Legally Blonde," and "Sydney White" say it's true, it must be the case. And because TFM and TSM are always correct.
