As I looked over to my younger and very impressionable cousin the other day, I complimented her with, "Wow, you look so nice with that tan!" She replied with a scowl on her face and said, "Yuck! I don't want to be dark. It's not pretty." Immediately, I was taken aback. Most kids don't care if they are tan or not, all they want to do is play and have fun. Where did she learn that kind of mentality from?

Her comment really bothered me, and made me think back to one of the lowest points in American history, the time of the slave trade. It was understood that if you were dark, then it meant you worked outside in the sun. Being lighter, being white, was a privilege that showed power and that you didn't have to work in the fields all day. Even amongst the slaves, the darker-skinned African Americans worked outside while the lighter-skinned African Americans usually worked in the house.

Human history has shown preference for lighter features all over the globe as well. I am not African American, I am Asian, and even I hear from some family members that I should stop getting too dark and start wearing more sunscreen. The Asian beauty industry is an expert in producing bleaching cosmetics used to lighten skin. Even in places as far as Korea, the paler European aesthetic is the beauty standard.

Even today amongst my peers, there is this fetishism of "light skins," who are African Americans who have a typically lighter skin tone. I hear so many times how girls would only date an African American man if he were a "light skin," but not dark. By completely blocking out an entire group of people, it limits the possibilities to make connections, to foster friendships and to grow lifelong relationships from.

I am lucky enough to say that I have friends who come from so many different walks of life. They have so many years of different cultures mixed into the generations behind them that they can introduce me to in a bunch of fun ways (my favorite is through food). It makes conversations interesting when you see life through a different perspective. How boring would it be if you only interacted with people who were raised and acted exactly like you?

Although we still have a long way to go until we become a completely accepting society, we have taken some big steps in the right direction. However, the taboo of darker skin colors is still so present today, that even my nine-year-old cousin is afraid to be in the sun for too long because she might get a tan and a few freckles. That kind of mentality, the one where she looks at darker skin with negative feelings, has the potential to harbor more dangerous thoughts. Since my cousin is so young, she still has a lot to learn. Hopefully, I can teach her not to fear her tan, and instead, view it as a sign that she's been outside, explored the world and felt the sun on her skin -- that she has lived.