We all have those friends that have been together since high school, and are planning to get married when they graduate. These are the couples, along with all the “love” that is shoved down our throats by television shows and movies, that we long to be part of. Yet, we completely forget that the majority of people in college are single, and we solely agonize on the few people that are in successful relationships. The truth is, college is such a fun time and if your relationship is fun, then I am so happy for you! BUT, if you continually have heartbreaking, short-term relationships, then maybe being single isn't as bad as you think it is. I have been in a long-term relationship for a year of college and single for a year of college: here are the reasons I believe that being single is so much better for me, and maybe for you.
1. My relationship with God has strengthened beyond imagine.
This is number one on my list because God is first and foremost the most important aspect of my life; no boy, accomplishment, or material possession can ever compare to the mercy God has given me. When I was in an unhealthy relationship, my focus was on my boyfriend and not my relationship with God. This is so important, because God will never leave you. He will never forsake you, and he will forever be the one to stand behind you when your life gets hard at work, with your family, or whatever else life throws your way. And when I do decide that I am ready to date again, the number one criteria will be that the man I am with is chasing God just as fiercely as I am. Until that day, I am filled with joyful to spend my time building my relationship with God and praying for my future husband that he is also understanding the beneficial time of being single.
2. I have made so many more friends
My freshman year when I was in a relationship, I was trapped. My friends were his friends and although I made a few friendships I see lasting a lifetime, I didn't have many people to fall back on when we ended. That all changed when I was single my sophomore year. I rushed a sorority and found myself with so many friendships that I don't know how I survived without. My big and my twin are some of the greatest people I have ever met, and the rest of my sorority has made a major impact on my life. So, single ladies, don't use being single as an excuse to not get out there and make friends. Go talk to people, join a club, and make friends because that could make all the difference with having a happy college experience. Just because you are single does not mean that you need to be alone. In fact, surrounding yourself with positive influence is one of the most beneficial ways to fight off the loneliness when it starts to creep up on you.
3. I am more productive.
I am a college athlete, in a sorority, in honors college, in religious life, and participate in several other activities on campus. These activities take an unimaginable amount of time in order to be done successful and with the accurate amount of attention. When in an unhealthy relationship, you can't be as productive in the activities that matter to your present and will effect your future. Being in a relationship caused me to not get the grades I know I was capable of because my studying time was split with quality time with my boyfriend. I also wasn't involved in several of the activities I am involved in now because I didn't have the time when in a relationship. So single ladies, go get out and participate in activities and put your heart into them!!! Not only is this a good way to make friends, it is also so beneficial for your future. Grad schools are not going to care that you dated some guy on and off that ended up flunking out of school (although they will be glad you didn’t follow his example); they want to know that you were involved with things that mattered and made a difference!
4. I realize my worth.
No matter how hard you try to not tie your worth into your relationship, it is hard for most of us not to (if you're able to successfully do this, you rock!!). When my relationship ended, I was devastated, and most of you can understand that pain. That is when a relationship is unhealthy--when you feel less of a person just because one person couldn’t see all that you are worth. In society today women are taught that our worth is based off how men view us. We are judged by every aspect of our appearance; we all know this wrong, but yet we continue to allow all of the negativity flow through our minds and change our own perception of ourselves. Being single has benefited me in so many ways when realizing my worth. Now I exercise and eat healthy because I want to, not because a man wants me to look a certain way. I want to be healthy for ME. When I dress up and put makeup on (which is rarely), I do it because it makes ME feel good. I don't do t because it pleases anyone else. The most important reason I realized my worth is because God made me in His image, and if Jesus can love me through all of my faults and failures then what does it matter what the world has to say about me? "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well," Psalm 139:14. Single ladies, wait for the man that knows your worth. Wait for the man that loves you like Jesus loves you. Wait for that man that wants the best for you and pushes you to be your best, but through love and not for his own personal gain.
5. I get to go on my dream dates.
Now I know this one might sound a little strange, and hey maybe it is but who cares. When I was in a relationship, there were some dates that I secretly always hoped that my boyfriend would take me on or even ones that I communicated that I wanted to go on and never did. In order for those dates to occur, I needed the consent and presence of another human being, which is not always easy to obtain. When you’re single, you can do whatever you want whenever you want. I take myself on dates all of the time! I know I get strange looks when I sit at a new restaurant by myself because I wanted to try it or I go to the movies alone with a big tub of popcorn because I had wanted to see that movie since I saw the first trailer, but who cares??? Not this single girl. It makes me so happy to go out and do the things that I want to do. For those of you ladies that don't enjoy alone time as much as I do, take a friend out with you! I also do that often. I go on "friend dates" all of the time and it satisfies every longing I have about a boy taking me out. Don’t wait on a boy to ask you out to do the things you want to; ladies that are in a relationship this goes for you as well! If you keep asking your befriend to take you to do something and he never does, then go by yourself or take a girlfriend with you! But do it, don't have any regrets because you were waiting on a man.
People say that if you don't love yourself, why would anyone else love you? I think there is some truth to this statement. You have to love yourself, and you have to be okay with being alone before you can truly be happy with someone else. Now, if you find the right person and he is a man after God that is committed to you and making your relationship work then by all means: be happy and be together! But don't base your happiness and your worth on finding that perfect guy. Focus on strengthening your relationship with God, bettering yourself, loving yourself, and you will be happy while you are patiently waiting on God’s timing. Enjoy college, enjoy your freedom, enjoy being single, enjoy life, and do things that make you happy!
