I vividly remember my first anxiety attack, which occurred before I even knew what anxiety was.

I was five or six years old on a family trip to Disney World. This would've been perfect if it weren’t for one tiny thing: I had a loose tooth. You see, a classmate had told me that if I had a loose tooth, I would swallow it. This terrified me because I thought that, for whatever reason, if I did swallow it, I’d throw up – a lifelong fear of mine that I can't really explain. So, I didn’t eat dinner that night. I didn't even let out a laugh when Goofy and the other characters came over to say hello. My mom immediately saw something was up and pulled me aside to ask what was wrong. I finally spilled my worries, and she explained and most importantly promised me it would not happen.

I felt better and went back to normal.

It wasn’t until my 20s I realized I had been struggling with something more serious than I realized. I thought all the anxieties and worries I had while growing up were typical. I thought I was just more cautious, more serious or better prepared than my friends. I didn’t realize it seemed odd to them that I would check a locked door three times in order to fall asleep or that I always had to place things in a certain area. To them, this behavior wasn’t “normal.” I thought they were just personality quirks! I thought these feelings were just a phase or stage of life I was in, because, after all, college is incredibly stressful.

I thought I was just feeling a little jittery, until one night it all came crashing in on me.

I was out of town visiting my boyfriend at the time, and we went out to some bars in the city that night. It was a holiday weekend and this teeny tiny bar seemed packed to the ceiling with people. Becoming overwhelmed, I immediately started sweating. I felt dizzy, and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. Wide-eyed, I grabbed his arm and said, “I need to leave now," – which we did, but it didn’t stop me from noticing how disappointed he looked. No matter how understanding he was, he was tired of it, and I was too. I was embarrassed and really mad at myself. I blamed myself for ruining the night. I remember slipping on my sleeping mask and headphones that night to listen to the rain – a trick I use to calm myself down when it gets really bad.

I don’t know if he noticed, but I went to bed that night with tears in my eyes wondering what was wrong with me and wishing I could be more fun.

It felt like there was this constant risk of unleashing a hurricane inside of me, but no one could sense it or understand it. More importantly, I didn’t want them to. When I think people notice my anxiety, it’s like they're onto my deep little secret, and that makes me feel vulnerable – an emotion I hate. When I’m anxious, it's like trying to stop a runaway train…I have to let it run out of steam. I kept trying to deal with it on my own or ignoring it, but neither of those tactics solves anything. They still don't. I drive myself half insane with all the “what ifs".

It took about another year of life changes before I found my way into therapy with a shiny, new diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I laughed because my family has joked about it for years. When I was in therapy, I learned a few things I'd like to share with those of you who are also battling your own hurricanes.

First, “normal” is subjective. No one is “normal.” Everyone has problems.

If someone judges you for it, they are either ignorant or not a good person. If they are ignorant, try to teach them about it. Mental health is a rapidly growing concern in this country that needs to be discussed. The more we educate others, the further the understanding spreads.

Second, there is nothing wrong with you at all. Not even close.

Anxiety can feel isolating and terrifying, but you were given a brain that cares and feels more. Anxiety causes you to feel things too intensely. This actually comes from our bodies' marvelous Autonomic Nervous System's “fight or flight” response. This was a great concept during the Ice Age when people were being attacked by mammoths but not so great when you're just trying to take a test. Guess what? To those who have anxiety or an anxiety disorder, your body has a really good fight or flight response – too good, since unfortunately, it causes issues. But these issues can be dealt with. There are certain tricks that help train your brain to calm down when it needs to. Everyone is different, so research and ask a therapist or physician for ideas. It's not easy, but it is possible.

Due to my intense, obsessive fear of vomiting, I went through immersion therapy. When I’m feeling anxious for no reason, I use diaphragmatic breathing (belly breathing). And as I mentioned earlier, I listen to rain sounds at night when the “what ifs” attack. Medications also exist for those who need it. The last thing I learned was how to accept my anxiety for what is was. It is a part of me, but it does not define me. You are not your anxiety. Knowing what you are up against is half the battle and accepting it is a huge victory. When I realize anxiety isn't as big of a monster my mind makes things it out to be, I’m better prepared to handle it and adjust. It takes practice and does get better. Keeping busy also helps. Whatever you do, never feel embarrassed or vulnerable to ask for help. Never be ashamed.

Feeling anxious from time to time is inevitable, but soon the storm will pass, and you will start to see a new light.