When you hear the word sorority you probably think of something social, right? I bet you don't picture a girl with severe social anxiety. It's okay, no one does. Well...here I am.

I am a mix of your basic sorority girl and an anxiety-ridden teenager. Big crowds, new people, and unplanned situations terrify me. Sometimes just leaving my dorm room is a major accomplishment for me. So, how does a girl like me go from hiding in the shadows to being an involved member of a sorority? It wasn't easy but it was the best thing I have ever put myself through.

When I started college I had no plans of going through national recruitment strictly because of the amount of people that would involve. Just being around the groups of screaming girls put me on edge. I spent a lot of those days hiding from the chaos in my dorm room. Luckily, I heard of my school's local sorority and someone (aka my mom) convinced me that not many people would be there. She has never been more wrong about anything. The room was packed. I was able to calm myself down and push it aside long enough to get to know some of the girls. I went to every recruitment event that week, welcoming the anxiety attacks that would occur on the way. A week full of panic attacks had officially paid off and I found my home. However, the hardest part had just begun.

Being around strangers and big crowds is generally A welcomed part of a sorority girl's life in one way or another. Unfortunately, that will never be welcomed into my life with open arms. I have found coping method and try to avoid big crowds at all costs, even though that is often impossible. The struggle does not stop there, though. My severe anxiety issues conflict with my everyday life and normal activities with my sisters.

Speaking up at chapter, even about small things, is still very hard for me and holds me back from making valid points. My world revolves around my life within the sorority and my sisters. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today, but I can't even give them all they need in return. I always want to participate in chapter and FSL wide events. As the year has gone on, my sisters have helped me with my anxiety, but it will never be controlled enough to participate in Greek Week activities and that will always bother me.

Someday I hope to hold a position on the executive board within my sorority. Not only do I want this to happen to help better my sorority, but to also help better myself. Being in front of people will always be a big fear of mine, but with my sisters by my side, I know anything is possible. I don't meet your general expectation of a sorority girl. If you say hi to me on campus I will probably avoid eye contact and run away. Living with severe social anxiety issues makes things hard, but not impossible. Don't let yours hold you back from anything, especially not finding your home with some of the best people you may ever meet.