What does it really feel like to be a sorority girl?

What does it really feel like to be a sorority girl?

Let me tell you my experience.

I am in my last year of college (YAY) and as I look onwards to the finish line I like to take a moment to recollect on my experience years. The biggest being that I became a sorority girl.

My experiences are broken down in four ways: how I felt before joining, how I felt/feel now that I am in one, and how it has changed my life.

BEFORE JOINING

I remember, graduating from high school, declaring whole-heartedly to my parents and my boyfriend that I did not want to join anything. I have always been in some type of organization or activity since elementary. I’d been in orchestra since the fifth grade to the day I graduated from high school, did track from seventh to eighth, was in Student Council and Theatre since my freshman year and then joined the cheerleading/dance team my sophomore year. I was committed to all of my high school organizations until I graduated, so now I sport a beautiful “B” on my Letterman with several little details proclaiming that I did not quit anything and even earned bars for my years of dedication.

But ultimately I felt burnt out. I was tired and for once, I just wanted to focus on school.

As you can obviously tell, life decided that this was not going to happen.

You see, I moved to San Antonio, Texas on my own. My only friends from high school that close either went to the University of Texas at Austin or Saint Mary’s (spoiler alert, I never saw them). I felt lonely and wanted to make friends. So I headed out to a random event that UTSA was hosting that day. That is where I was introduced to a variety of sororities.

UTSA hosts four councils of Greek life. I won’t get into the specs, but I awkwardly found my way to two sororities that I never knew even existed: Latina based sororities.

You see, I had only ever seen the sororities you see on TV or in movies. And they were rarely ever painted in a pretty picture and mainly consisted of white women.

Now, I’d like to say that UTSA is much more diverse in all its councils and they do not only consist of white women. But at the time, that is all I really knew. So seeing these two sororities really spoke to me. To me, I was seeing women that looked like me that had the same values and goals that I have. These sororities were Sigma Lambda Alpha and Kappa Delta Chi. Although I admit, I requested information for both these organizations, I ended up falling in love with Kappa Delta Chi.

You see, although both organizations are beautiful and encompass a sisterhood that is unique, I just found my home in Kappa Delta Chi (the nickname being KDChi).

I managed to make a friend that was also interested in KDChi and she encouraged me to go to every rush event with her.

(This was us before)

(This was us after she moved away and joined KDChi at another University)

After the second rush event—mind you these were about two hours or so long and they had many prospective ladies at each event—the sisters managed to remember my name.

I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it meant a lot to me. Not only did they say my name, they said it right. I am a rather quiet person by nature, and back then I was way shyer then I am today and rarely corrected anyone on how to say my name. I doubted they would remember me, but the moment I walked into their informational, they welcomed me with smiles, hugs, and “Hey Marisa! How are you? How was that class today?”

They were invested in me. A shy, sun city girl that had nothing to offer to the organization but my desire to make friends.

(The first rush event I attended)

I remember calling my parents that night and telling them I was going to apply for KDChi and giving them the summary of their presentations. Then came the first reaction my dad had. He told me: “No mijha. Sororities are for elitist people that party. You don’t want to surround yourself with that.”

And that stuck with me. Because yeah, I saw that in the movies and TV shows. My parents both went to college and they saw that. But, I’d also hear girls saying things like: “oh yeah, she’s my bridesmaid/maid of honor”, “my relationship with my big/little(s) is amazing”, etc., etc. and I wanted that. I wanted someone to be my sister. My adopted (not really, but practically) sister was not in San Antonio. I had no friends, and the one I did make was about to jump into the sorority boat with, or without me. And honestly, what did I have to lose in applying?

NOW THAT I’M IN

The rest is honestly a beautiful history. I may not have got along with every sister in my organization, but that never stopped the feeling of being in a sisterhood. I admired—and still do—the wonderful women that have created and continued to grow my sorority. And we all agreed, even if we didn’t get along all the time, we still love and respected each other. And that is what it means to be sisters.


(I event got to be a Maid of Honor)

Most of the women that have joined my sorority that are first generation women, and even if they weren’t or aren’t, they still have this ambition and drive to be successful that many first generation students have. They are courageous leaders. They are kind and intelligent. And they are each unique. I mean, some of these girls were in multiple organizations, taking honor courses, and had more than one job. They would make it to community service every Saturday morning, on time, with great attitudes, ready to work, bright-eyed and bushy tailed. You'd never know they had been partying till the 3, 4, even 5 am.

Now that I’m in I do want to share these opportunities that KDChi has given me. Because being in a sorority can be a beautiful experience. My class sister, Ashley Cano, said in her mini graduation speech during our grad farewell: “You get out what you put in.”

I live by that phrase. Being in a sorority—in any organization—that is completely true. If you make the effort to build those relationships, put effort into the events and activities, you will reap the benefits.

HOW IT CHANGED MY LIFE

This organization, Kappa Delta Chi Sorority, Inc., has influenced me substantially and I’d like to say for the better. My parents have even noticed. My mom always comments that my confidence and my feistiness has grown and I am appearing to be a more empowered woman every day.

And I know I can count of my sisters. Heck, when I applied for jobs recently the first people I thought to ask to be a reference are my sorority sisters. Although they are our University, District, and National advisers, I knew I could count on them to provide an accurate description of me and my ability to work for whatever company I was applying to.

(My little sister, her little sister, my second little, and my second little and grand little's class sister)

(My sister and I got to go to Chicago for our sorority's National Conference a year ago. Got matching shirts while we were there.)

I have had my ups and downs with my sorority, just as any one person does with any organization or school activity, but I am so thankful for every experience I have had. And of course for the amazing friends I call sisters. I do will always relish in all the moments I’ve shared with so many of my sisters. The 2 am baking sessions, the drives down winding roads, the talks under a blanket fort, the midnight pep talks, the retreat in the woods with no power, or even the long nights making cake pops talking about Disney characters.

I encourage every girl to take a look at Greek life in their University. And truly look into each one because once you find that one that clicks for you, you won’t regret it.

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9 Things Every Girl Should Know Before Joining A Sorority

Debunking ignorant myths about greek life.

Growing up in Texas caused me to have a negative view of sorority girls since birth. I thought only tall, tan, and pretty blonde girls that love parties and frat boys joined sororities. Legally Blonde did me so wrong. In reality, it is far from greek life in movies. It wasn't until I actually joined a sorority that I learned what they are really about. Being a part of a sorority is nothing like you see in the movies, and I'm here to prove it to you. Here are some common misconceptions about sororities, debunked.

1. You're just paying to have friends

This is the most common, most annoying phrase I had to deal with while rushing. Yes, paying to be in a sorority means you suddenly have hundreds of other girls around you that value similar things, making you more likely to become friends with them.

However, our national dues pay for the upkeep of the house, the support of the national sorority, the cost of events, and our philanthropies. You could use this same kind of thought process to argue that people only pay to go to college to make friends. Paying to put yourself into situations where you're likely to meet people does not mean you're buying their friendship.

2. All sorority girls do is party

This statement really couldn't be more wrong. Sure, some sorority girls party a lot, but most don't. I'm pretty sure the non-greek girls living in the room next to me, blasting old Justin Bieber songs at 11:00 p.m. on a Monday night, party way more than I do.

3. We only support our philanthropies because we have to

I'm confident in speaking for all of the sororities on my campus when I say that we all genuinely care about our and other chapter's philanthropies. My chapter's devotion and emotional connection to our philanthropy was actually the deciding factor for me on our last night of rush. It's still amazing for me to see how passionate all of my sorority sisters are about our causes.

4. We only date fraternity men

I have a little spoiler for all of you: in my experience, frat men don't date. I'm not trying to hate on all you brothers out there because I'm sure some of you are decent human beings, but frat guys fear commitment.

5. You won't have any non-greek friends

This one is only true if you make it true. If you tend to only hang out with your greek community, then it's a no-brainer that you will only have greek friends. Personally, I have several friends that aren't greek; it just depends on whether or not you put yourself out there.

6. Sorority girls are superficial and girly

Disclaimer: I adore Legally Blonde, and aspire to be Elle Woods. That being said, Legally Blonde gave all of us sorority girls a bad reputation. Some girls are going to be superficial. It happens, but I've never made friends with a girl in my sorority by ogling over tanning, bikinis, and the latest hair trends. The girls in my sorority are some of the most genuine human beings I've ever met. They inspire me to be a better sister, student, and even a better person. There's nothing superficial about that.

7. Sorority girls judge non-sorority girls

Let me keep this one simple: no one cares. Most people drop their egos when they get to college. They realize that everyone is here for the same reason: to get a degree. We all just go about it differently.

8. If you join a sorority you will be hazed

I actually had the opposite experience while rushing. This used to be true, but times are changing. People have realized that hazing is backward and pointless -- so most campuses just stopped doing it.

9. We're only in college to meet our trophy husbands

This is the most anti-feminist bs I've ever heard in my life. Sororities actually have GPA requirements to stay in the chapter. The average GPA of a sorority woman is generally higher than that of a non-greek woman.

We also have various programmes to help members that aren't in good academic standing. My sorority likes to constantly remind us that we are students first and sorority always comes second. Sorority girls don't have time for anything else.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram | @sorority_girls

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9 Reasons Living In A Sorority House Is The Best (And Worst)

It's definitely not like you see in the movies.

Growing up with a mother who was never in a sorority and a therapist who told me it was “probably not in my best interest” to join one, the fact I’m now living in the UCLA Kappa Kappa Gamma house is something I had not foreseen. Whether you love it or not, “living in” definitely has its pros and cons.

So, here’s a list of nine reasons sorority girls relate to, for hopeful srat stars to get excited over, and for unaffiliated people to get a glimpse of #sratlyfe:

1. The obvious one, you get to live with all your sisters and a lot of your closest friends

I don’t want to be cliché and say “you get to live with ALL your best friends,” because that would just be a fat lie. You are not going to be BEST friends with sixty girls. You may barely know some, and that is completely okay. It’s true that they’re all your sisters, which is something in and of itself. It’s also true that you do get to live under a roof with some, maybe even most, of your best friends, without the hassle of finding an apartment, paying utility bills, etc, etc…

2. You kind of feel like you’re supposed to be best friends with everyone living in, which, as I said, is an improbable thought

I hate to be a Debbie-downer, but contrary to the movies, you won’t be best friends with all two hundred of your sisters. Odds are, you might not even like all of them—which is FINE. Having beef with even one of your sisters can make you feel like you failed as a sorority girl, but that’s life, and you have to learn to live with it. Everything in a sorority house is heard—who’s doing what, who’s going where, who wasn’t invited to what, and, to be entirely honest, it sucks sometimes. Being let down is inevitable, feeling left out is too; feelings will undoubtedly be hurt, and living in makes it a little more present.

3. Having chefs is life-changing; I’ve forgotten what a stove even looks like

Not really, but it truly is so nice to have a chef cook two meals a day for you. You will forget what it’s like to feed yourself. Not to mention, all you have to do is walk a couple feet to your kitchen and voila! There’s your next meal—freshly cooked each day.

4. Once the weekend hits, you no longer get two meals a day and you’re left to fend for yourself

Once the chefs leave, the kitchen is locked. This means the only appliance available to cook is the microwave. Trying to make a decent meal becomes pretty difficult.

5. Living in a mansion near Beverly Hills? Sign me up

Okay, maybe this one is specific to UCLA, but the sorority houses on Hilgard are BEAUTIFUL. Our house has a courtyard where you can bask in the year-round LA sun, blue tiling, bathrooms fit for princesses, and, best of all, an adorable house dog named Mr. Troubles and wonderful house mom, Carolyn.

6. My closet is your closet

If you love wearing other people’s clothes and/or are totally cool with people constantly asking to borrow stuff or rummaging through your closet, then this one doesn’t seem so bad. But if you’re like me, someone who loves her clothes, enjoys keeping them in pristine condition, AND has a really hard time saying no, this one’s a nightmare.

I love to share and have delegated a large chunk of my closet to loan out, but it’s a little harder to draw the line of what is loanable and what isn’t when living in a sorority. It’s no biggie when someone comes out wearing your cheap bodysuit to go on a date, but when your friend comes out wearing your brand-new boots to go to a frat party, it’s a whole different story.

7. You become closer to your PC and the other girls who live in

In case you’re wondering, PC stands for pledge class. This is the group of other lovely people who went through rush with you and were initiated into your respective house at the same time. Generally, your PC all moves into the house the same year (which year varies from school to school, sorority to sorority), and undoubtedly you become closer since you’re all living down the hall from each other and sleeping in the bunk above one another.

8. What’s personal space?

You live in a house with dozens of other girls (in my case around 60)–that’s a lot of people regardless of how big your house is, and girls are incredibly social creatures, especially sorority girls. Someone will always be knocking on your door, there will never be an empty public area. At times, it’s exhausting. Knowing you can never find a place to be completely alone in your own home can be mentally taxing.

9. You never have to be alone

On the bright side, since you don’t get much personal space, you never have to be alone. There are always other girls in the house. If you need someone to talk with, eat with, go out with, or watch Netflix with, there will always be at least one, if not ten, girls who are up for the challenge.

Cover Image Credit: Isabelle Roshko

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