In my lifetime I have met so many people who struggle, or are still struggling, with self love.
I myself know what it's like firsthand.
We put ourselves down, we don't feel adequate enough, we don't accept ourselves for who we are, and the efforts we make don't ever seem to be good enough.We are constantly looking at those around us and trying to become someone we're not because we're uncomfortable with who we really are. Not only that, but we'll do almost anything to fit in. Whether or not it harms us, physically or mentally. A lot of the time the hatred we feel towards ourselves reflects into the lives of those around us. And before any change can happen you have to consider all the things that are keeping you from loving yourself. You have to forgive yourself for being so hard on you, and then you can find the self love you deserve. I know, because I did.
1. One reason we don't love ourselves is because we haven't received the right form of love from others.
When you aren't loved in a healthy way, it's hard to know what love is like. If the way you were loved is stemmed from a form of negativity, violence, or put downs, it becomes EXTREMELY hard to know how to find love within yourself. Your family and loved ones were made to set an example of how to love, but if they are poor examples of healthy love, it most likely took away the lesson of loving yourself.
2. Not feeling like you are worthy.
You might feel bad about yourself and so unworthy to the point to where you feel as if you don't deserve to be loved. Even if you wanted to be loved you're not willing to receive the love you give yourself. You'll resist. Or you'll be completely willing to love others first, because loving yourself seems uncomfortable and scary.
3. Feeling selfish or guilty about self-love.
When you aren't used to being loved, you feel guilty for loving yourself. If you didn't have this inner love most of your life how could you possibly feel okay with it now? It will seem selfish and overwhelming, and you'll continue to look anywhere besides in yourself for love.
4. Believing that love can only come from somewhere outside of yourself.
You feel that love can only come from other people to be real, or you feel that love can only come in the romantic form of love. That makes loving yourself seem utterly impossible. And it continues,you look for love any place besides where it needs to start.
5. Simply not knowing how.
What do you do? How do I love myself? Where does it start? There's a simple explanation of loving yourself. You may not know what it is to love yourself but all of us have this inside quality to love other people. We were born with love. We were filled with love for others growing up.
Here's the solution:
Take that love for others and give it to yourself.
Turn that love inward. It doesn't matter if you were never shown love by another person, or someone told you how you should love yourself. You are a human being filled with love and you know what it's like to love others.
Let down the walls of guilt, sorrow, and fear. Return to the love that is already there.
