Some people find it really hard to understand what it really means to have anxiety. They don't understand why there is a need to worry at all. "Life goes on – don't dread about the past." Well, that sounds so easy, but it's much more complicated than that.
What we may be anxious about, may not be that big of a deal to some people but it's very important to us. We may not even have a reason to be anxious – we just are. We can't decide what to be anxious about unless we don't control it and constantly dread on the topic. Sometimes I could be the happiest and have no worries but still be waiting for something bad to come around and ruin everything; to take everything away from me.
You can't control what I think and sometimes, I can't control what I'm thinking either. I cannot turn my brain off and I will constantly analyze the good between the bad. I always find the bad. The most horrible thoughts, the worse possible outcomes and anything that can just slightly trigger my brain that something is wrong. Eventually your brain starts to make up stuff to be anxious about.
Anxiety is very exhausting because you feel like the weight of all the bad in the world is lying on your shoulders and you can't fix anything.
Sometimes it just feels like the Devil is whispering in your ear.
Eventually all you can do is take ibuprofen for the headaches and pretend you hear nothing. Doctors and some people think you need medicine or a therapist. Some can get help from that but they think it will go away. I prefer not being the person who can't go without her medicine and be asked, "have you taken your medicine?" every time I feel awful.
When I am around friends, I feel better. That's all we really need – comfort, reassurance, love. Yes, sometimes I would like to be alone to decrease the stress, but having someone to talk to really gives us help. God is also my friend and he reassures me everyday. In the worse of times, He was there to tell me that I need to be patient.
I am not my anxiety. I am me and I can overcome and control what I think. God tells me this. No, it will not just go away one day, but we can be hopeful for the future and think positive.
