To The Women Who See Their Assaulters Every Day

To The Women Who See Their Assaulters Every Day

I am sorry, and I understand.

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Once in high school, a girl told me that despite her going to the school to report her assault, she had to sit next to her rapist every day in class.

I never thought I would understand this feeling, and I still cannot imagine experiencing it to that magnitude, but I finally do understand. My freshman year of high school I was sexually assaulted and I never reported it. He was a few years older than me, so I still saw him in the hallways until he graduated, but I never fully understood or faced what had happened.

The other day I saw my assaulter, and he was standing with his girlfriend at a party. It was an experience I can barely even describe. My immediate reaction was pure panic. I ran into the bathroom with a friend, who had to calm me down. My next thought was how dare he. How dare he be allowed to continue to have a normal life. How dare he have a girlfriend, who probably has no idea what he did to me. How dare he be able to have a normal life, going to parties and drinking with friends while I have this reaction.

When I imagine someone having to endure this feeling every day, it kills me. To the men and women who experience this, I cannot possibly imagine the pain of having those thoughts every day. So I have some things I need to tell you, not as someone who has any professional training, but as someone who is feeling these things for the first time.

It is okay to be hurt.

If you feel hurt by this person, hurt that you have to go through this, hurt that it isn't fair, be hurt. You are absolutely allowed to be hurt and you do not have to pretend to be strong enough to do it on your own.

Any feeling you have is okay.

If you are angry or upset or distraught, you're right. If you miss them or still love them or want to reconnect with them, you're right. If you feel numb, you're right. Anything you feel in the moment is the right feeling because you are entitled to feel that way.

Your safety is the most important thing.

If you feel unsafe, physically or mentally, get out of there. Leave the classroom or the party or wherever you are if you cannot be in there anymore.

Back-sliding after the encounter happens sometimes.

Even a small encounter with someone who traumatizes you can have a long impact on your mental health. Talk to someone if you need to and don't be afraid to reach out, but be aware that it's normal to feel depressed after being in a situation like that.

People are with you.

The news recently might be scary, but ultimately there are people who will stand with you. There are survivors out there with support groups, and resources for you to help you understand that you are not alone. People will always be here for you. I am with you.

Any experience you have where you have to relive or be reminded of a traumatizing situation is incredibly scary. Remember that whatever you do in that situation is the best thing for you. Only you get to decide what is best for you, and if that is leaving the situation or confronting them, do it.

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!

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What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

Price: $8.49 (one pack), $14.99 (two pack)

2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

Price: $10.98

3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

Price: $28.46

5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

Price: $12.00

6. Condom case

This condom carrying case will not only protect condoms from damage but also make frat boys more inclined to practice safe sex, which is a win-win situation!

Price: $9.99

7. Frat house candle

Ahhh yes, who does not like the smell of stale beer in a dark, musty frat house basement? Frat boys can make their apartment or bedroom back home smell like their favorite place with the help of this candle.

Price: $16.99

8. "Frat" sticker

Frat boys always need to make sure everyone around them knows just how "fratty" they are. This versatile stick can go on a laptop, car, water bottle, or practically anywhere their little hearts desire.

Price: $6.50

9. Natty Light t-shirt 

Even I will admit that this shirt is pretty cool. The frat boy in your life will wear this shirt at every possible moment, it is just that cool!

Price: $38.76-$41.11

10. Natty light fanny pack 

This fanny pack can absolutely be rocked by any frat boy. The built-in koozie adds a nice touch.

Price: $21.85

11. Bud Light Neon Beer Sign 

A neon beer sign will be the perfect addition to any frat boys bedroom.

Price: $79.99

12. Beer Opener

Although most frat boys' go to beers come in cans, this bottle opener will be useful for those special occasions when they buy nicer bottled beers.

Price: $7.99

13. Frat House Dr. Sign

Price: $13.99

Forget stealing random street signs, with this gift frat boys no longer have to do so.

14. Beer Lights 

Lights are an essential for any party and these will surely light up even the lamest parties.

Price: $17.19

Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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There Is One Group Being Left Out Of The Sexual Assault Conversation

In the age of the #MeToo movement, some people are being left out of the sexual assault discourse.

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When we talk or think about sexual assault, we only tend to think about cisgender women, but we often forget about men, the LGBTQ community, especially trans people, and that sexual assault happens to them too.

According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, forty-seven percent of trans people experienced sexual assault at some point in their life.

Earlier this year, Rose McGowan, an actress and feminist, was confronted by a trans woman about her comments about trans women about not being like "regular women" during an interview that she did on RuPaul's "What's the Tea," in July 2017. During the outburst, the trans woman said: "We get raped more often. We go through domestic violence more often." As of 2015, Twenty-one percent of TGQN (Transgender, genderqueer, nonconforming) college students have been sexually assaulted, compared to eighteen percent of non-TGQN females and four percent of non-TGQN males, according to Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Sexual Misconduct

McGowan responded, "Hold on. So am I. We are the same. My point was, we are the same. There's an entire show called ID channel, a network, dedicated to women getting abused, murdered, sexualized, violated, and you're a part of that, too, sister. It's the same,"

The trans woman then said: "You do nothing for them. Trans women are in men's prisons. And what have you done for them?"

McGowan stated, "What have you done for women?"

It then turned into a shouting match and the trans woman was removed from the Barnes and Noble, where they were, by security.

The transwoman shouted, "cis white feminist."

McGowan got angry and started shouting about not putting labels on her.

However, the moral of the story is: Rose McGowan is a cis white feminist. She does not do anything to support trans women, but she yelled about how women and trans women are the same only after her previous comments against trans women.

The fact of the matter is, feminism is not for marginalized identities, but when confronted, it claims to support everyone.

This situation makes Rose McGowan look bad because she was one of the faces of the #MeToo movement, a movement created by a Black woman with the intent of including every identity.

Men are also affected by sexual assault. According to National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey, about three percent of American males or 1 in 33 have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.

Terry Crews, a former NFL Player and current actor, talked about being sexually assaulted in 2016 by a Hollywood agent in front of his wife. Crews, who supports the #MeToo movement says, "This is how toxic masculinity permeates culture."

As a society, we need to support everyone because sexual assault is real, and it affects everybody. It is a huge issue and there is no room to exclude anyone from standing what they believe is right also to stand for justice.


Terry Crews details alleged sexual assault by Hollywood talent agent www.youtube.com

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